Will I, Take YOU, as My, Lawfully Wedded, ASSHOLE???

Yes, we’d, arrived to the SITE of a SUICIDE here…

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  Uh, say that again???

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  Just to make sure, I am, at my own, funeral (‘cuz that’s what all weddings are???), right???

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  To serve for all of eternity, ‘til death do us part?  Taking out that tiny gun I have inside of my bride’s dress right now here…

as they stand at the altar…photo from online

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  HECK no!  ‘cuz, for all I know, you’re just, looking to “score” that FUCK, and after you’re done with that shit, I’ll be struck off your list, right?  And, let me tell you something, “honey” (yep, sarcasm’s still INTACT here!!!), I ain’t that easy, and for all I know, of your long track records (since your first WHORE from high school, continuing until, present day I’m thinkin’…), how can I be sure, that you don’t have any STDs, or STIs, ‘cuz I know I got myself, super, duper “clean”, as the ONLY THING that’s ever gotten shoved UP you-know-where, was that ultrasound from back in ’07 here, and, yeah, there’d been TWO men with whom I’d “slept with” continuously up until 2012 to 2013-ish???  And none after that.

And now, I will not, lawfully be “wedded” to an ASShole here still, ‘cuz, got enough of those in my life already, and ain’t got no need for any more, and besides, as a QUEEN, I know that none of y’all, idiots who are still, riding ‘round in this fairytale forest o’ mine, slaying MY pet dragons (and that constitutes as MURDER!!!), settin’ fires to all them wooden cabins, breaking the princesses’ coffins, wakin’ ‘em up before they’d had enough sleep (and we should ALL know by now, how the QUEEN gets, if she didn’t get enough sleep!) already, so…

like the lives animals, getting slaughtered for a sacrifice! Illustration found online

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Filed under Humor/Sarcasm, Life, Marriages, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Wake Up Calls

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