And no, it’s NOT selfish, if we go for the self-preservation side, because we must first all, take good care of our, separate, selves, otherwise, how the HECK can we, care for, anyone else??? Taking from the tragedies of the society here, translated…
In the life of families, we are often trapped between the wills of our selves, or the benefits of the families, and started engaging in that, tug-of-war nonstop.
There was the news of how an elderly woman raised up her own two grandson, one of the children showed aggression, and symptoms of A.D.H.D., and, the elderly woman had been under too much stress in caretaking, and, lost it, and strangled the grandchild to death. Another, how a couple was married, and, in less than two months of their marriage, the husband was, paralyzed, and was in a vegetative state, and the wife filed for divorce, and the courts allowed it. These two seemingly unrelated events, shared one characteristic of concern: the matter of caretaking of one’s own families.
The two women in both cases, made totally different decisions, on caring for one’s own next-of-kin. The wife decided to divorce, and, although, she’d gained the reputations of being selfish, of not being moral enough, but her decision, ended the fact that her marriage is bound to, slide down that slippery slope. While the elderly woman’s persistence to the end, it’d, fulfilled the expectations of the traditional role of women, her sense of responsibilities, and her conscience too, but in reality, and the psychological aspects, the elderly woman, clearly, could NOT stand this kind of burden, and in the end, she’d, self-destruct, and the story ended, tragically.
And it made me wonder, as a part of the family, must we, give everything we have, for our, families, to sacrifice our own, happiness? Is this, the necessity, the forefront, of setting up a, perfect, and happy family? If at the end, there’s only, the suffocating burdens, that sense of, responsibilities that remained in it, enough to drown, cover up everything else, and, at this time, how can we still, keep the connections of the family intact?
In the families, when do we choose to preserve ourselves, when do we, sacrifice ourselves, and fulfill the needs of our, separate, families, from my past experience as a family courts judge, this, is from my observations: do take good care of your selves first, then, treat your loved ones the way you treat yourselves, kind too, then, as you feel, that you’d done, everything you possibly can, and still it’d not worked out, at this time, do be bolder, selfishly, embrace yourselves then, then, love your families, the way you love your selves. I believe, that there would be the regrets that came with this, but so long as you’re willing, this regret can still, be made up for, I hope that we are all, living happily.
And so, these are, tragic stories of how giving to the family, caused the caretaker, to fall apart, like for the grandmother, she didn’t have a choice, or at least she couldn’t see the other options, and eventually, the caretaking became, too burdensome, and she’d ended up, murdering her own grandchild, while the other woman, she may seem selfish, because, it seemed as though she was, abandoning her husband who became, paralyzed, but she didn’t want to become his caretaker for life, and so, she’d selected divorce, and surely, it got her the bad reputation of ill-fitting as a wife, but heck, at least, she’d made a decision, to save herself actively, instead of being driving to murder her own handicapped husband after she grew tired and weary of taking care of him long-term, like the elderly woman who felt that she didn’t have any other, choice! So, it’s NOT selfish, to look out for number one, and, W-H-O, is number one? Oh yeah, we, individually, ARE, number ONE in our lives, and if we don’t take good care of ourselves first, how the @#$% (maxed out!) can we, take care of, anybody else???