Since that Time I’d, Met You

李泰祥 告別 – YouTube a song by the man, off of YouTube

yes, the link works!

A magical, song, that helped this individual find the comfort she was desperate in need of, in a foreign place, without anybody else she knows to support her, to get her through the hard times translated…

Back then, I was living in Australia, a step, from being, psychologically, broken, down.

From my front door looking out, you can see that tallest hill where the Tasmanian capital is located, with the snow still not yet completely, melted, like a chubby child with a white hat, staring, back at me.  I’d, missed the mountains of Hualien, even though, it’s always, with that, mysterious look covering over them, but, they’d had, so many, good stories to tell, and every time, a different tale.

I also miss that tabby that fell seriously ill the moment we got off the plane, and, after emergent resuscitations, she got so upset, she ignored the medical staff that saved her life, and, started, ranted incessantly aloud at me, blamed us, for not letting her just die.  I’d, buried her at the public pet cemeteries, and, then questioned, why I’d, come to, Australia, with a few sets of attires, fifteen casings of books, along with my doctoral dissertation I just, started working on.

I’d originally thought, that by leaving Taiwan, starting a new love, can help me leave the annoying Taipei, to get away from the restraints of interpersonal relations, and to, restart my career in the academia, and can wave goodbye, to the worsening of the relationships I’d shared with my parents that’s gone on, for close to, two decades.  But the truth be told, I’d just, fallen out of that first hole, into, another, hole, and, as I started living in the foreign land for the few days, and realized that it’s not quite right, too late then.  The two of us, under the same roof, nothing to say to one another, but, the process of moving internationally, was too difficult, and, to stop the process, it’s, next to, impossible now.

Tasmania is close to the South Pole, the island that’s roughly the same size as Taiwan, is covered by half with national parks in area, beautiful scenery, the summers here, are colder than winters in Taiwan, the sun out short.  Life is simple here, eating out, too expensive, on weekends, almost NO shops are opened.  Other than fixing my three meals per day, I’d worked, endlessly, night and day, on my dissertation, the music history research materials I’d collected for more than a decade became, a huge mess, the more I panicked, the more I was, unable, to come up with something, and it became, next to impossible for me, to get my thoughts straight.

More importantly, my partner who’s, not from the same culture as I, it’d made me even more panicky of the differences that we have, and confrontation became a way of our lives, whether it be using English or Chinese to communicate, I feel I was losing my ability to speak.  My body, mind, are both, crashing down fast, the old injuries not yet healed back up, and the new ones came, and, what I have left in me, was only, enough, barely, to maintain that peace on the, surfaces of our lives together.

But the days marched on just the same.  In the small library in the city, I’d started checking out the various kinds of music, to try and soothe my own, unsettlement of mind, to attempt to squeeze out what joys I possibly can, in this, mess of my own life.

One day, I’d received a package from my older sister, opening it up, it was that album that glowed of the golden rays of sunshine.  On Li Tai-Hsiang’s “Since I Last Met You”, the album cover, that field of green Taiwan was what greeted me, I felt shocked, too long since I last saw the bright sunshine.  Although I couldn’t understand why my older sister selected the type of music that I never listened to, nor was I interested in the male tone of voice, but I’d thought, I got, nothing to lose.

The sound of guitar came on, spread out, like the daisies growing on the hillside.  His singing sent me spinning around, I’d suddenly, lost my foothold, and I started, floating in air.  I was shocked, at how someone can sing so coldly with a voice, but so, passionately at the same time, the tone was sharp, yet, calm and collected, heated up, but quite, cooled at the same time.  The multitudes of conflicts all sung aloud, in his voice, fuller in form and sound, and, it’d, ironed flat these, bumps, these holes in my heart.

The song for the very first time I’d heard, no matter what the words were, I couldn’t hear the lyrics.  The sound of violin, loosened up my tightened shoulders.  In that piano, sounding like the lute, came the heart that’s, not been, cared for for too long.  His voice broke that invisible armor down that I put on, I saw how the fatigue, the upsets that’s, been, piling up on my life then, plus, the loneliness, the hardship I’d faced living in a foreign land, how everything made me unsettled, how I’d had to, hold my breaths in, to get through another day, how I was, taxed out, slowly, bit by bit, little by little, by the, days.

That naïve in the music, was so magical to me.  Lee’s voice was full, with that untamed feel to it, passed that passion he had for life to me.  Sitting silently, in front of that stereo, although I’d not known what my next steps are going to be, but, it seemed, that I’d not felt, so lost, so, tangled, so, hopeless anymore.

In the time of that song playing completely from start to finish, my heart that’s become like the desert, there was, that tiny yellow bud, starting, to bloom.

And so, this must be, an amazing artist, because his voice had that ability to help you feel healed up, and that, is what a good song does for people, the voice of the artist, can have that calming effect to us, and the lyrics, we can find the wisdom we are seeking in our lives in them too, not to mention the melodies of the notes that sounded, smooth-flowing, with that needed, calming effect we are, in desperate need of.

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Filed under Awareness, Healing Process, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

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