How this man offered the emotionally support his own wife needed, being far apart from her physically, by being there, letting her know, that he’s, with her, not physically, of course, the importance of emotionally supporting one another in the marriage here, translated…
On May 19th, the entire country of Taiwan had been under level three alert, with all the intercities, intercounties interactions, almost completely, halted, not talking about international relations, the south and north of Taiwan are, separated from each other, and, a lot of the families, the husbands and wives became, separated, and, you see these articles complaining about the matters.
Recalling how last year in January, it was the turning point of the outbreaks in Southeast Asia, and, the door to the country shut down, this wasn’t, in the expectations of how my husband and I managed our relationships from Taiwan to Japan. At first, we’d thought, that we will get to see one another in three months, and that hope kept, getting busted, and the disappointments came, repeatedly. With the trends of the world, shutting down, we both realized, that this wasn’t, just for the time being, that it’s, going to last, for a whole, year.
I’d found, that under these circumstances, I’d had to, drop that feeling of unease first, first, to trust, that “my partner will take good care of himself.”
At this time last year, Taiwan is still, highly guarded, and we’re, still in prime conditions, yet, we are still all, on heightened, alert; looking at Japan, the numbers rose fast, but, the tenseness in the air where my husband is isn’t as heightened. Other than feeling panic on my end here, there’s, nothing I can do, other than imagining something may have happened with him there, getting myself crazy.
Back then, we’d, spent some time, discussing how we are to, defend ourselves against the outbreaks daily; in the exchanges, he was clearly, more, rational than I was, more thorough and careful too. Yeah! I’d forgotten, that he was, careful in nature, that rather than worrying my own head off, I’d selected to, trust him completely, and just, given him the reminders to watch himself every now and then.
“Believing that our significant other will look after her/himself well”, it’s a sense of trust. Setting up this trust, then, we’ll be able to, find back that loss sense of security we’d lost in this, mutated, reality.
After this whole year, I’d gained an interesting, understanding: originally I’d thought, that the distance between us will keep us apart, but in actuality, “feeling together”, it’s more powerful, than we both had, imagined.
One day, I’d, suffered a minor defeat from work, I’d sent him the message, hoping he could stay with me the entire evening. I’d called him, and started crying, but couldn’t, voice out what made me upset, just kept repeating to him, “I’m really upset”. Had it been him in the past, as he couldn’t know what was going on with me, he would’ve, lost his, temper already. But on that evening, he’d told me, “okay, I’ll, stay with you.”, then, started, quietly, going about his own business on his end.
I’d cried a while, and still couldn’t say a word out, picked up a novel to read; a few pages in, I’d started, crying again, repeated, “I’m, upset!”. And every time I’d stated it, he’d repeated, “okay, I’m here for you!” and like that, we’d gone on and off, on and off, the entire, night, I’d, turned the final page of my novel, and finally, I’d, felt, a bit, better, then, I’d, started telling me, what made me upset.
That was, one comforting, evening.
It didn’t matter now, what was upsetting me then, what’s important was, on that very evening, I’d noted, how in this brand new state of living separately with him, we’d learned of the ability to “embrace” one another.
This embrace, it wasn’t the bodily contact, and yet, with the long-distance between us, it was still, quite, powerful just the same.
And so, this, is on the emotional support in a marriage for one another, and, there are these, circumstances beyond our controls, that are, keeping us apart physically, but, if we’re there for one another emotionally, willing to lend an ear to each other’s troubles, then, we will, always be, intimately connected to and with each other.