There Will Come a Day, When I’m No Longer Able to Care for You

Working hard, trying, to delay, the INEVITABLE, or to STALL it, long as we possibly can here…

There will come a day, when I’m no longer able to care for you, when you need to be placed, in assisted living, and, I feel so awful, because I feel like I’m betraying you, but, taking care of you had become, more, and more arduous by the day.

 As your dementia progressed, your schedules are flipped, upside down, you’re wide awake, wandering about, when you’re supposed to sleep, you’d lost control over your bowels and start urinating, defecating, all over the house, and I still, followed closely, behind you, picking up, after your mess, because you’d done the same for me, when I was younger.

There will come a day, when I’m no longer able to care for you, when you need to be placed, in assisted living, and, you may hate me for doing this, but, I have NO other choice, as taking care of you became way too difficult for me to manage, and, I’m slowly, falling, deep, into that valley of depression, and, I’m dreading waking up each and every single day now, because I have you, to look after.

Maybe, it’ll be for the best, allowing you get the professional care you need, because I can no longer provide that for you, and, it’d allow me, to have time to breathe too.  There will come a day, when I’m no longer able to care for you, when you need to be placed, in assisted living, but, until that day comes, I will still stay, by your side, helping you, cope with your daily living, as living had become, more and more difficult by the day…

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Filed under Betrayals, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Letting Go, Life, Loss, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Properties of Life

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