Monthly Archives: April 2015

The Purpose of Bedtime Stories

The purpose of bedtime stories, is, to CONNECT with your children, before they go to bed, and, believe it or don’t, and you had BETTER believe it, your kids are looking forward to, this special time shared with you, after all, you’d worked all day long, and now, you’re finally home, it’s only natural, that they want your total and undivided attention, your focus on them.

Bedtime stories not only benefit the children, it also gives the adults time to breathe, to take a load off, to put the mind on hold for a short bit, because, in telling your kids those bedtime stories, you get to, temporarily forget about how people are trash-talking one another, stabbing each other in the back in your working environment, and, it also helps you take a break, from ALL the ills of the world you’d encountered throughout your day.

The purpose of bedtime stories, is MORE than to put your kids to sleep, after all, they WILL all, fall asleep, eventually, but, by taking the time, to read to them, you’re showing them, that they’re, important to you, that they’re among, the top priorities in your lives, which will, boost their self-confidence, because their mommies and daddies actually cared enough about them, to take the time, to read them their bedtime stories.

So, don’t forget, the next time you’re tucking your kids in, DO read to them, and, don’t forget those kisses, as they should always BE, initiated by you, the parents, not the kids!

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Filed under Connections, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Values

I Will Follow You, Lonely, Wherever You Go

I will follow you, lonely, wherever you go, just don’t PLAGUE my life, with your presence!

I will follow you, lonely, wherever you go, and, don’t you think that you should, return the same courtesy I’d shown you, BACK to me too?  So, why are you still, tagging along my tails, when I want to lose you now?

I will follow you, lonely, wherever you go, and, you won’t, get rid of me, because I will REFUSE, to leave you alone, just like how you’d refused to, GO away, when I’d asked you to.

I will follow you, lonely, wherever you go, because you’d plagued my life, with too much of your company, and, since I can’t get rid of you, my enemy, I might as well, start, getting acquainted with you, be your friend, because, isn’t it easier, to keep a friend, than to fight with an enemy constantly?

So, I will follow you then, lonely, just don’t leave me alone, I can’t spend a minute, with nobody else’s company, I need something to hold on to, something, or someone, I can, lean on!!!

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Filed under Being Alone, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Expectations, Life, Loneliness/Solitude

Giving, to Receive, the Placement of the Elderly

Translated…

Before the New Year’s holidays, my niece, Q, who immigrated to the Netherlands came back for the holidays, she’d come to my house to wish me a happy new year, and, through our conversations, she’d learned, that her uncle, I too, worked in the areas of “providing home care services”, she’d immediately given me the thumbs up.

Turns out, there is a huge problem surrounding the placement and care of the aging population in Europe.  Q made the example of how in the Netherlands, it is too hard, to get a room, in the nursing homes, plus, the fees for the manual care is extremely high too, the nursing homes had a ton of difficulties, paying the wages of the professionals, let alone, caring about the social welfares of the residents.

So, there were, some of the nursing homes overseas that used “exchanging manual labor for extra time”.  Q saw how interested I became, continued, “If you want to place your own parents into the nursing homes, then, you must set time aside, to volunteer there first, anything from reading to the elderly, to cooking for them, to stroll with them, to hear them recall their pasts, and, all of these are not, included as the job descriptions of the real care providers.”

“Recently, there were a lot of people who’d gotten involved here in Taiwan, it’s just, that the younger generations lacked the patience, or the time.” I’d told her.

Q extended her arms, “there’s no way around it, because in order to exchange for how their elders would get to spend their old age in the homes, the citizens of the Netherlands MUST find the time, and, even the elderly population who wanted to become residents volunteered in the facilities themselves too.”  Q added, the older generations’ duties are mostly “childcare related”, like helping the younger kids finish up their homework, or give assistance to students who are falling behind in class.  To give what one can, so the old and the young in the society, can interact, in this good kind of cycle.

“Is it workable?”, my wife started questioning, “forcing the younger generations to carry the load they’re unwilling to, to care for the elderly, would they feel unfair?”, based off of the 2013 global happiness guide, the children in Netherland ranked at the very top, but, seeing the issues surrounding elderly care, I couldn’t help but worry for the kids when they grow up.  Taking the examples of the Netherlands, how, would Taiwan do?

So, this, is a comparison of how the care of old age differs in the two countries, and, if one set of rules worked in a place, that doesn’t mean that it can be duplicated, and work just as well in another place, there’s still a LOT of details that needed to be worked out, before the programs are set up, and become up and running here.

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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Expectations, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Old Age, Social Awareness, Social Issues

My Son’s Bliss Deposits

On the education of children, translated…

When my son was still in kindergarten, once I’d gone to the banks for an errand, there was a promotion on “Making Deposits of Happiness for the Young”, on using the name of one’s children, open up an account, encouraging the parents to deposit the money the kids received for red envelopes, into this account, to accumulate up the “bliss” for the children.

This idea was fresh to me, back then, my son was still way too young, and, ALL the money he’d received as red envelopes from relatives, elders, and friends had all ended up, in our pockets, and, we don’t know how much was received exactly, if we could open up an account with my son’s name, then, deposit the moneys from the red envelopes he’d received in there, that way, his money will accumulate, then, in the future, we can use the money in the accounts for his allowances, so, why not!

Without realizing, that this decision had become, my son’s first lesson in financial management, my son knew earlier, compared to children his age group, that it’s better to place the money into the banks, than in the piggy banks, because the money in the banks will grow (with the interests).  Waited until my son grows older, when he started needing allowances, his “Happiness Deposit” started working.  No matter what the amount, I’d taken him to withdraw it out of his “Happiness Deposit Account”, then, taught him to make a note, of how his money was spent.

Like keeping the books, to let my son know, where his money went, especially, it’d increased his awareness of where his money went, so he wouldn’t spend it listlessly.

And now, he’d often taken out his bank deposit books, to discuss us with how he wanted to spend his money, and, he’d learned, to separate the “needs” from the “wants” too.

So, financial sense should start young too, just like everything else, isn’t it?  Because this parent realized the importance, of teaching her son to manage HIS own money, that, was why she’d helped him set up an account at the banks, and, this instilled that sense of financial planning in the young child’s mind, and, this helped him to be more careful with his money, and, he is, way mature in the areas of financial knowledge, compared to his peers too.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Child Development/Education of Children, Early Exposures, Lessons, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Values

The Matchmaking Dinner Date of a “Cougar”

On the matter called, “marriage”, translated…

In the past couple of years, being unwed, I’d chosen to head back home with my married older sisters to head back home to visit my mother’s family.  And because, last summer, my mother moved with my eldest brother and his family to Yilan, so, this year around New Year’s, was the very first time we’d gone to Yilan for the New Year, without realizing, that my mother set me up on a blind date too.

Mothers, worrying about the marriages of their unwed children, it’s only natural, but, I’m over fifty, and, I’d held a no-need attitude toward marriage now, but, my mother just won’t give it up.  This time the person she’d set me up with was a female neighbor’s younger brother in her new neighborhood, an engineer who’s two years junior to me.

And because I was pushed into it, I couldn’t get out of it, that very noon, after my sisters and I finished our meals, we’d gone to the nearby café to the blind date.  My older sisters sent my second eldest, who’s the most apt in socialization, to accompany me and my mother, to meet up with the person I was matchmaking with.  Originally, my other sisters, as well as brothers-in-law, and nieces all joked that they will be at a table nearby, it’s just, that there’s NOT enough room at the café, in the end, they’d gone strolling outside the café instead.

This time, my second sister worked, really, really hard, to find the topics, to resolve that uneasiness in the air, and I, downed cups of coffee, played on my cell phone, as for the person I’m matchmaking with, he didn’t have that much to say either.  During the entire thing, the only impression I got of him was, hair completely white, with the body and the style like an old man.  His family told me, that because he’d overworked his brains, that, was why his head was covered with white hairs, and that he was, introverted because of the lack of socializing with others.

We’d discussed on the way back to Taipei, my eldest sister made the conclusion, of how this “geek” wasn’t hard working enough.  What she meant was, before age twenty-five, we have our parents to blame for our looks, but after age twenty-five, we are to take the responsibilities of how we become, but the person I was match made with didn’t take good care of himself at all, so, even though he was not-yet fifty, he’d looked like he was already in his sixties.

There was once a female friend who’d told me, that everybody who came to this world, whether or not they’d end up getting married, s/he will always be alone in the very end, and because of this, we must make bodies and mind, in the most active states.   I can’t say, that I’d managed that completely, but, I’d found my bliss in my work, and living too, worked out regularly, hoped to live up to the statement of “a focused woman is a most beautiful one”.

And so, this, is the attitude one carries in life, and, the woman IS right, so, what IF we’re NOT married, that still doesn’t mean that our lives would SUCK, compared to those of you in the married population, does it?  So long as we’re able to live our lives in a fulfilling manner, make sure that we do everything we’re supposed to each and every day, being single, we can still shine, like stars!

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Filed under Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling

The Disclosures to a Stranger

Translated…

In the depth of autumn that year, I’d gotten the call from my eldest brother, telling me, that our mother was not going to make it, so, I’d packed some simple needs, rushed back home.  With the straits opening up, on the boat from Kinmen to Xiamen, there sat a kind-looking older woman next to me, she saw how I had this worried look on my face, thought that I was suffering from the motion sickness from the boat moving too much, she’d shown me some care and concerns, “Are you okay?  Do you need some assistance?”

The woman’s kindness touched my heart, and, I’d told her that my mother’s about to die, and that I was rushing home, to see her, that it may be the very last time I will ever get to see her.  But, my husband had just lost his job, with our two young children, I worried about my mother’s conditions, at the same time, I’m also distressed about my two young children back home in Taipei, and, a thousand worries filled me up, and, my moods dropped, to the lows of the lows.

I don’t know why, but I’d poured my heart out, to a complete stranger.  As the older woman listened in silence, and, nodded from time to time, to let me know, that she understood what I was going through, after I’d finished talking, I felt this weight, lifted off of me, and, I was filled, with the strengths, to take on the unknowns of my future.

These couple of years, in going to and from the straights, I’d also bumped into strangers who’d poured their hearts out to me too.  When I met someone, with whom I’d shared the affinities, I would, strike up conversations with them share with them, what was on my mind.  During our short meetings, we didn’t need to know where one another was from, where we’re going, without the masks, the vulnerabilities inside us all, started to show, and gotten the release they’d needed.  Then, we’d waved to one another, turned around lightly, with the courage, and the strengths, to face up to the next challenges in our separate lives.

So, this, is the advantage of, pouring your hearts out to a complete stranger, like those people with whom you’d met, for the very first time, because, they don’t know you, so, they wouldn’t have that preconceived notion about you, and so, the interactions would be more than genuine, and, by pouring your hearts out to a complete stranger, your worries found an outlet, and, you felt that burden you’d carried from before lifted, just a little bit, from your shoulders, and, you’re more than likely to, lend that helping ear to someone else who needs in the future, and that, is how the cycle of kindness also rolls around.

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Filed under Communications, Connections, Helping Behaviors, Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Life

Picking Out a Kindergarten, Don’t Be Mythical About All-English Institutions

We still ALL want our kids, to start off, with that MUCH-NEEDED COMPETITIVE edge, so this, is where the MYTHS come in, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

From the months of April to August, is the registration trend of the kindergartens, the National Teachers’ Guild yesterday suggested to the parents on the keys to picking out a good kindergarten using the following guidelines: no cramming on reading, writing, OR math; and that the qualities of the teachers shouldn’t be those newly graduated teaching department students; to NOT become superstitious about the foreign-born instructors, without the teaching certificates.

The All-Educational Organization’s department manager, Chang stated, that after the implementations of the new bill of early childhood education and care had set in, the realm of the early childhood education is slowly changing, the publicly funded kindergartens and the private kindergartens are the primary choices of the parents’; but, a lot of parents are still, WAY too superstitious on English education, and, there was this trend of parents, lining up outside those dual-language academies, to sign their children up.

The assistant director of the All-Education Organization, Yen said, that the chairs in the kindergarten facilities, if they were set up in rows like they are in elementary schools, that means that the children were being force fed the lessons, that it’s best, to have the chairs set up in groups, or learning sessions in each of the corners of the classrooms, to get the children to participate in their learning processes actively; and, there must be enough outdoors unit, in case the younger children don’t get enough time to exercise.

Yen reminded the parents, that if the kindergarten classrooms were decorated very well, but, the decorations aren’t related to the creations of children, or has anything to do with the lessons, then, the teachers were spending too much time on classroom decorations, along with other odds and ends activities, and not having enough time, to socialize or to interact with the children.

He’d stressed, that the first three to five years of a kindergarten instructors’ careers are spent on adapting, and discovering the work environment, and, if the entire kindergarten has teachers who’d only been teaching for no more than three years, then, it would mean, that the fluidity of the instructors is way too high; the kindergartens are banned from hiring foreign teachers by law, but, the kindergartens would set themselves up as cram schools, and that the foreign teachers may lack experiences in working with children in the earlier years, so, don’t blindly believe the words of the kindergartens.

These, are the few guidelines, that the papers had summed up, in choosing a kindergarten for the younger generations, but, because it is, a INTERNATIONAL world that these kids had come into, so, naturally, a TON of the parents would still fall for the advertisements of “All-English” education, and, by believing in getting a head start in another language is good for my kid, the kids still ended up, suffering, plus, aren’t the earlier years of childhood supposed to be play-oriented???  Uh, YEAH, so parents, STOP believing what those god DAMN institutions are selling you, but, because you still ALL want your kids to have that head start on life, and, you LACKED the foresight, that your kids may drop DEAD (b/c of how hard they were pushed!!!), way before they’re even ABLE to see the finishing lines.

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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Child Development/Education of Children, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Education, News Stories, Socialization, Stupidity

The Children & Families Fund Organization Recognized Twenty-Four Amazing Mothers, the Grandmother Worked Three Jobs, Raised Up Eight Grandchildren on Her Own

Acknowledgements here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

“Eight grandkids and NOT one less!”, the sixty-six year old, Ji-Mei Liang, her three sons all died one by one, because of cancer, she’d worked three jobs, worked over ten hours a day, managed to raise up eight grandkids all on her own, “I can’t fall down, my grandkids need me!”, as Liang told her tale, tears had stained her wrinkle-filled face.

The Taiwan Fund for Children & Families yesterday awarded the most hard working mothers nationwide, of the twenty-four recipients of the award, there were grandmothers, fathers who acted as mothers, there were those who had gone through deaths in the family, abandonments too, mothers who used their lives, to stabilized a family.

Liang had divorced from her husband for over thirty years, her three sons all passed away, and her daughters-in-law all left too, dealing with over millions of dollars of debts, and the responsibilities for taking care of her eight grandchildren, she didn’t have the time for grief at all.

Every morning at four, Liang got up, headed out, sold the rice balls, in the noon hours, as well as in the evenings, she’d gone to the cafeterias to work, during her spare time, she’d sold chili peppers.  Because of her limited income, she’d gone to the nearby schools, to have the leftovers from the free school lunches provided for the children there, and, at night, she’d taken the leftovers home from the cafeteria she worked in.

Life is really hard, but Liang never complained, “Hearing the laughter of my grandchildren, all my fatigue, my worries are gone, instantaneously.”  Liang never used a high-pressure method to teach her grandchildren, “I’m like my grandchildren’s friend”.  The grandson, Liang said, grandma would always cook fresh foods for us, and ate the left overs, “I hope grandma never eat the leftovers again, she needs to take care of herself.”

The single father, Dong, from Lukai tribe who raised his daughter and son up, was the only male who’d won the award.  Because of polio, he was left immobilized, plus his wife left with their eldest daughter, leaving behind the two and three year old younger children back then, he felt beaten, and had gotten drunk every single day.

One day, he’d found his youngest daughter gone, was too worried, and, he’d learned, that it was the Social Services that took her away.  He got the wake up call, that if he kept numbing himself out with alcohol, he will, lose ALL of his kids, he’d pulled himself up, took just one month, to get sober, learned to feed using bottles, change diapers, and was successful, in getting his youngest daughter back with him.

“Every child is a treasure, how can we just throw one away, and not take care of her/him?”, Jia-Jen Deng has seven children, six had handicapped manuals, her husband, because of failed business ventures, they were once so poor they couldn’t afford rent, in just one year, they were forced to move, four times.  She’d shouldered up the household economics, made deliveries until two in the morning to the marketplaces, during the noon hours and in the evenings, she’d delivered the meals, she’d only rested for just five hours each and every day.  For the sake of her family’s health, she’d learned to make healthy breads, and started a bakery, with the assistance of the Fund for Children & Families Organization.

And so, these, are the inspirational tales, of how the families made their ends meet, and, all of these people rightfully deserved the recognitions they’re receiving, for weathering through the hardships of their lives, and still standing tall.

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Filed under Family Matters, News Stories, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Values

The Taichung First High School’s Biology Instructor Became a Woman, His Mother Allowed Him to Dress as a Woman, But Hadn’t Nodded on the Sex-Change Operations

At least, his mother was willing to COMPROMISE here, and, it’s still all about BABY STEPS here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The biology teacher, Tseng from the First High School in Taichung went on the process of sex change, after she’d come out, she’d received a ton of supports, but, she’d cared most about her mother’s views.  Last week, she’d put on makeup, and worn a dress, as she’d gone back home, her mother who’d originally accused her of being “a joke” told her, “You can dress up as a woman, but, you can’t go through the sex reassignment operations,” her mother’s words against her having a sex-change operation had her mother’s love after she’d changed her mind.

The principal of the First High School in Taichung, Chen said, in the past week, there were over a hundred thousand members of the online community who caused the story of “Him Becoming Her” to go viral, he’d originally feared that there would be people who’d talked trash, but, surprisingly, he’d heard nothing BUT voices of support mostly, and, there were four calls that showed great concerns for the subjects; this story is a positive lesson, a few of the classes used this story as a discussion, to teach the teachers, as well as the students, to show respect to a person, no matter the gender, the sexual orientations, or professions of the person.

From Tseng’s Facebook pages, she’d received numerous supports from places like Malaysia, Singapore, as well as Hong Kong too, and, there are a ton of mails, from parents, sharing the issues they’d had with their own children’s sexual orientation, and identifications with the genders too.

Tseng said, after her mother saw the news about her getting a sex-reassignment, she’d gotten furious, and called her up, to blame her, last weekend, she’d accompanied her mother and aunt, to a religious gathering, and, she’d worked up the courage, to put on her dress, her makeup too, with earrings, and bracelets as well, “formally” appeared in a form of a woman in front of her mother.

“Even though I’d already received a ton of support from the society and all around, I’d wanted my mother’s blessings the most!”, Tseng had been taking female hormones for a year and a half now, and her secondary sex traits had already been altered, but because of how her mother was against it, in the past, she only dared to dress in androgynous clothes, and this time, she’d dressed herself like a woman, hoping, that she could gain the support of her mother, to finish the final step in transforming from “him” to “her” finally.

And so, despite ALL the support that this person received, what “she” needed and wanted the most, was still “her” mother’s support, and, “her” mother had compromised slowly too, from NOT allowing “her” to dress up as a woman, to only NOT permitting for the gender reassignment operations, and, that just shows how the mother’s attitude about what was happening is slowly, altered, and, I’m sure, that one day in the future, the mother will embrace this new “daughter”, who was once, her son!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Education, Issues on Gender, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Properties of Life, Self-Images

An Ailing Woman Was Taken to the Morgue to Wait for Death, the Police are Now, Looking into Negligence on the Families’ Part

And no, I’m still NOT shitting you here, okay???  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman who needed dialysis and had a stroke was taken home by her own family, from the hospitals, then, sent to the funeral home’s coffin room to die, the members of the public found her there, called the police, Lee was taken back to the hospital yesterday, and the police are looking into whether or not her families were responsible for abandoning her, or that they took part in the involvement of leaving her to die at the funeral home.

The fifty-eight year-old Lee had long-term illness, and had a stroke, two mornings ago, the family went to Changgang Hospital, to get her discharged on “automatic release on not terminal” purposes, the family told the funeral home to take her to the private funeral homes’ coffin room, to wait for her to die, back then, she’d still had her breathing tubes inside her nose, with her diapers on.

Back then, Lee had called out for help, during the recitations of the Buddhist verses, she’d raised her hands several times, and was left alone, for five hours, and, other members of the public just couldn’t withstand it anymore, so, they’d notified the police. The police immediately had the ambulance lift Lee back home again, two nights ago, Lee was admitted again, into the emergency room of the Changgang Hospital in Kaohsiung.

The police called Lee’s husband to the station, he’d claimed that his wife contracted black foot disease, and, because he had to take care of his own ailing wife, he’d put up the Chinese medicine shop he’d own and operated, and, the household economy had been on the decline ever since. At the start of this month, his wife had a stroke, and was hospitalized again, needed a total of $180,000N.T. for her medical treatments.

“I’m completely spent in the mind and heart and soul already,” Lee’s husband said, two days ago, he had a fever, and, his health started ailing too, that, was when he had the thought of “seeing his wife off”. He’d learned from Huang, a man who works in the funeral industries, that the terminally ill can be taken to the morgue first, and wait a few days, for the funeral processions.

“I’m truly sad, but, we just can’t afford my mother’s medical bills any longer”, Lee’s son said, that he’d only followed “his father’s words” in putting his own mother into the funeral home, “My father’s had it real hard, these couple of years.”

The owner of the funeral home, Huang told in private, that he’d originally contacted Lee’s son about giving her a lift back into the Chinese medicine shop that her son owned, but Lee’s son said, “We have a business to run here, and, it wouldn’t be convenient”, that, was why he’d dropped Lee off, to the funeral homes then left.

The man in charge of the local borough said, that Wang had never asked for help from the neighborhood, nor did they file for any government assistances. The Social Services Department investigated, and found, that the Wang household didn’t qualify for the low income assistance, that Lee had NO proof of handicap, and that they will contact the private charities, to find a nurse’s aide for Lee.

And so, just because you all had to work, your mother was too ill, that still doesn’t give you the right, to LEAVE her in the MORGUE to DIE, and that just shows how irresponsible those family members are, and, how would you FEEL, if it were your sons or daughters who do that to you too, after all, your kids will WATCH how you treat your own parents, and, treat you the EXACT same way, and this, is really awful thing that’s done!

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Filed under Bad Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Excuses, Issues of the Society, Life, Negligence, News Stories, Scapegoating, Social Awareness, Social Issues