Allowing the Illness to Become a Teacher to One’s Own Life, on Parent-Child Interactions

Lessons in life, translated…

My mother had always be beautiful, strong, a woman who took care of her appearances, she’d focused on taste in everything she uses and does.  I, who dressed down, walking next to her, would often get mistaken as her hired help.

Last spring, because my mother had difficulties swallowing, she’d become malnourished, and a ton of conditions came to find her, she’d even had difficulties walking.  She’d gone into the E.R., was hospitalized, then, was released, then, readmitted into the E.R. again, and the vicious cycle continued, the doctor could only place a feeding tube onto her, and she was, living off of the tubes now.  Her illness took the two most cherished things in her life: her beauty and the ability to eat gourmet foods.  Back when we had a power outage when we were little, she’d always smiled and told us, “the lights are off now!  Do be careful, not place your food into your noses!”

And, I’d laughed ‘til I cried, “Eating through the nose!”, and, I couldn’t believe, that the jokes we’d shared from back then, became a reality for her.  But, for the sake of being alive, my mother had no other options, but to accept it.

On a certain day, while I was feeding her, she’d said to me, all of a sudden, “It’s been hard on you!  I’m truly grateful, for you, for taking care of me, I’d needed you in everything I do now, every time you’d squatted down, to help me put on my pants, my socks, my shoes, I couldn’t help, but cry, don’t know how much longer I needed to trouble you, the next time my illness attacked, I won’t blame you, if you choose not to resuscitate me!”

I’d consoled with her, that she just needed to get the nutrients back into her system, and she’ll be healthy again, I’d even applied for a homestay nutritionist, to teach me how to make the all-natural foods to feed her with; the homestay nutritionist had helped her rehabilitate her swallowing abilities, and, if she still wanted to give up, then, she’d imposed on us all.

During the time I took care of my mother myself, I’d deeply realized, that the true hearts that were put into caring, with the professional medical assistances, is the best way to get a complete recovery.

Three months later, my mother had healed completely, she’d gotten her feeding tubes out now.  My mother told me, so long as she can eat the foods herself, she’s more than satisfied, she’s no longer as picky as she used to be, and, finds great taste in every single food items that were served to her, and, she’d found comfort, in life now.

My mother had even given some of her pretty clothes to others, and donated the rest, the reason being, that those clothes should be on someone, instead of, just hanging in her closets, and that so long as she has enough clothes to wear.

As my mother made her recovery, she’d become more than satisfied with life itself, and showed gratitude toward a lot of the things she used to take for granted.  I think, that falling ill would be awful, but, the family members and the patient can gain more understandings about life, and so, “getting sick” can be an alternative form of lessons.

And so, this woman reprioritized her values, because after she’d fallen ill, a lot of the things she used to enjoy, she could no longer do, and, it must’ve been hard, for her, to adapt to her “new” life, but, she’d changed her perspectives, and so, this illness should be viewed as a blessing in disguise.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Family Matters, Lessons, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

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