Do Look More at Your Spouse’s Better Qualities


Last weekend, I’d asked along a couple of good friends, and, we took all our kids to Dahu Park, on the one hand, our kids could have each other’s company, and, on the other, it’d given us, mothers, a breather, to chit chat with each other, to reconnect with one another.

Mei-Jun who arrived late to the gathering came, complaining about how her husband would just sleep in on the weekends, rarely helped out around the house, nor does he schedule outings with the children; and, she’d become responsible, for the kids’ recreational activities on the weekends, and, from time to time, when her husband came along, he’d only acted as the chauffeur, drove everybody to the spot, then, headed back home to sleep some more.

After Wen had heard, she’d started envying Mei-Jun, turns out, that her household was exactly the opposite from Mei-Jun’s.  Wen who keeps everything tidy wanted the weekend, to clean up, but, the husband believed, that the weekends should be spent, away from home, whether it be going to the movies, or to sightsee.  Although Wen knew, that going on outings as a family is an amazing experience, but, when she thought of how much work that needed done around her house, she couldn’t help, but feel worried.

Then, Yu-Jen joined in the discussion too, even though her husband doesn’t have that many bad qualities, but, he is reactive, needed to be told what to do; but, the things that she’d missed, her husband ignored.  In the end, everything big and small in her house, relied on Yu-Jen, as the “commander” to handle, and, her husband became a pawn that just runs the errands.

Hearing my girlfriends started describing how displeased they were at their husbands, I couldn’t help, but smile, turns out, based off of the standards my good friends had set up, my husband is a perfect ten, hard working, and can cook (although he rarely had any chances to), and on the weekends, he’d taken the kids out exercising, cycling, camping, climbing, and would also accompany my children as they worked on their art, or practiced their piano.

But, this sort of a perfect husband has a weird habit, he’d wanted to order everything, books, shirts, pants.  He’d ordered everything in his closets by sections of shirts, pants, suits, and, lined his clothes up based off of length and color too; on his bookshelves, he’d ordered his books by the types of books he had, then, sorted them out by sizes.  The bathroom and living room slippers must be orderly, so it would be convenient, to the next person who uses it.

After my husband heard, they’d all shook their heads, thought that this precise man can impose a great deal of pressure on his family, and, everybody all of a sudden felt, that their husbands in their daily living, are actually very good, despite how messy they can get.

I’d smiled and told them, “each couple have differences in upbringing, if you can respect and cherish one another’s good qualities, then, you’d gotten along nicely.  Marriage is not changing the other person into another you, instead, it’s making sure, that your qualities complemented each other’s, so one plus one is greater than two.”  As for who gives more to whom, don’t nickel and dime, after all, love is the point, so, we’re all, giving to our families, willingly.

And so, each house has its separate issues, and, what you see as a good quality in someone else, may not be a good quality, to someone whom the person is close to, so, stop envying one another, and just cherish what you have.

After I’d Lost My Job

Gives you a brand new perspective on things, after you’d lost your job, and now, after you’d reexamined yourself, you can start again, on a fresh note, translated…

As everybody is ushering in the brand new year, I’d had to face the facts, of my company closing down, and being out of a job.

Losing the job during the Chinese New Years is an awful thing, and, all of my friends and families had commented, “That’s such a shame, there goes, your year-end bonus!”

Recalling just six months ago, when I’d realized, that my company was laying off the employees one by one, I’d already started planning.  After all, I’m getting older, and, the opportunities won’t come at me like they used to.  Even so, I’d still held that positive attitude, study at home, or, apply for new job.

This year was just the year when my son is taking his entrance exams for high school, I’d busied myself in and out daily, chauffeuring him every single day; my daughter who’d come home for her winter break got to sleep until she wakes herself, and enjoy the home cooked meals prepared by her mother.  See how happy she looks, this, was the small-time happiness she never had the chance of experiencing since birth.

Is it scary, to become unemployed?  I’d asked myself this a lot recently.  Because I’d lost my job, I’d had more time, to prepare the meals for my family, to tidy up the house more; because I’d lost my job, I’d gotten more time to stay at home, and, after having that honest heart-to-heart with myself, I’d realized, my past mistakes.

Losing my job became a turning point for me, I expect that I will be able to face my unknown future with more bravery, because I’d gotten beaten, losing my job and all.  Carrying on with this positive mindset, and, embrace the bottom half of my life that is solely mine.

And so, you’d carried that positive outlook on life, even though you’d lost your job, and, it’s that positive attitude that will help you in the futures to come.

Childhood Sweethearts

The BEST of times here, translated…

Not identical to that crush, back then, we still don’t know the meanings of love yet, with the heart of adoration, but, we were, more confused at that age.  Sometimes, we were inseparable, at others, we were, enemies, and the very next day, we’d gone to school together, sat on the same rows.  We were, childhood sweethearts, and, we were saved, in one another’s memories as young, naïve, pretty and naughty.  That, was the faces of the time from kindergarten to elementary school, so close, and inseparable, and afterwards, when we’d thought about one another, that smile would, slowly, creep up onto our faces.

Those faces, had, walked into, the elementary school reunion, thirty years later.  Released, exploded, if our own children see us, they would still not believe it, turns out, that their parents, were once, young children like they are too, they were, rowdier, than those classrooms, without the teachers watching over the classes.  Those we’d lost touch with after we left the elementary years, we’d taken a look at one another closely, and, we’d all managed, to return one another, back to when we were still just children again.  That naughty boy who’d once taken his own sunny side up, and shared it with that little girl, that generous girl who’d won the love of all the boys in her class, those who’d traded candies and toys smiled at one another, and, those who’d fought with themselves are the happiest now.  Reconnecting, the women started talking with their childhood girlfriends about the happenings in the girls’ lives, and, the men shared those old days of making trouble as boys with each other too.  We’d all grown, all became strong, with our separate life experiences too.  Our statuses and our positions, our occupations don’t matter at all, we were, competing with one another, who’d gotten punished the worst by our instructor back in the day, who’d made fools of themselves the most number of times, and, those troubles in our past became, a beautiful song that we shared with one another.

Childhood sweethearts, the hearts were true back then.  I’d once followed and traced their footprints, Googling them, tracking them in secrecy using Facebook, silently prayed, that they’re all okay, that after she’d fallen ill, she could cherish what’s important more, that he’d grown stronger, after getting up from his falls.  The over thirty years of absences from one another’s life, were traded, in secrecy, and, we’d continued, holding on, picking up where we left off, in our childhood years, smiling more radiantly for her sake, giving him a louder applause, although we may be far apart in physical distances, we could still connect with one another, still give each other kudos.  The reunion of the younger years, can make people escape their current life situations temporarily, to allow you, to realize, that those who’d shared your ups and downs from way back when, should be the ones you’d cherished the most.

Looking at the sign-in books, and, the times we’d shared all came back to life again, and, it’d showed a picture of that pasture in our childhood years, the wind woke a pair of young childhood sweethearts from nap, the childlike, the shy, the words that filled our hearts, just wouldn’t, come out, articulate, and back then, we’d all just said, “It’s nice to meet you.”  Without realizing, that thirty years from then when we’d met back up again, we’d stated it simply, “So glad to see you again.”

Turns out, this group of seven, eight year-olds who’d mowed the grasses by the fields, those laughter, those silently slacking off, we were, practicing, for the happiness and the sorrows, of our current lives.

So, that, is how much, the childhood days can affect a person, huh???  And, the writer went from talking about his elementary school reunion, and, connected it to how those childhood experiences, had made him into who he is today.


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Filed under Expectations, Family Matters, Life, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, The Observer Effect

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