Taken the Hard Road to Conception

Infertility issues here, and, it is, especially hard, for those in the Eastern cultures, translated…

I thought, originally that getting pregnant and having a baby would come naturally after I married, without knowing, that it was, actually, the beginning of MY nightmares.

I was a little over a month into my first pregnancy when the doctor believed, that the child didn’t have a heart beat, I’d gone to three separate doctors, and, they’d confirmed, that, it was, “a malformed fetus”, and so, I’d taken the advice of the doctor, had an abortion, and, because I was still quite young, I’d taken a few days of, then, headed, straight back to work again.

Without realizing, that that, was only the beginning of my trials, first, I had a hard time, conceiving, waited for a year, when I’d finally gotten pregnant, I’d taken extra care, but, two months in, I’d miscarried again.  Still recalled how rushed I was, to get to the hospital, and the doctor told me, that I couldn’t keep an unhealthy pregnancy, that I shouldn’t take it to heart too much.  Although I understood what he was telling me, but, I’d had to, swallowed down hard, those tears, it felt, like a bitter glass of alcohol, the sense of loss, was beyond my verbal expressions.

This time I’d miscarried, it’d waken me up, I’d decided, to take good care of my body, on the one hand, I’d gone to see the Chinese doctors, to get my body well, and on the other, I’d sought out western ways, to help me with infertility, during which time, I’m grateful to my husband, going everywhere with me, and, I’d gone to the Chinese doctors regularly by the week.  Because there were so many patients, we’d often had to wait for the entire evening, by the time I’d finally gotten home, it was, past ten o’clock, the very next day, I’d headed over to the Chinese medicine shops, to get the medications, and cook the meds myself.  In the morning and evening, I’d pinched my nose, and managed, to drink down the bitter medication.  On weekends, I’d rushed to the OBGYN’s office, to try an assortment of ways to help me conceive.

My mother-in-law’s side of the family also worked hard, to find an assortment of ways, and, they’d even done a ritual called, “exchanging flowers”, hoped that I can have a trouble free birth.  In all of our working hard together, finally, four years after we wed, I was, able to, have a son.

In the past, I’d had a smooth ride, in school, and at work, I’d thought, that everything I got, I worked hard for, and after going through this arduous process of getting pregnant, I’d understood, that other than believing in myself, and my own persistence, I’d relied even more on other people’s help and encouragements.

My son is truly, a gift from god, without this difficulty in conceiving, I couldn’t have gained the understandings I have for life, and I couldn’t have learned, to be humble or grateful, nor would I cherish what I have right now.

And so, this, is just, a lesson, that fate had you learn, the HARD way, because you’d had a smooth ride all the way, fate tossed you a curve ball, so you’d learned to not take things for granted, and, you’d learned your lesson well, which, is why things have worked out for you.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Cost of Living, Despair, Expectations, Family Matters, Fate, Issues on Gender, Lessons, Maturation, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Values

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