Taking Care of My Demented Mother for Five Years, I’m Completely Spent

From the heart of a caretaker of a demented elderly person, translated…

When my mother turned eighty-eight she was diagnosed with dementia, afterwards, her mental capacities, with the passing of time, deteriorated: the delusions, the suspicions, the agitations, the insomnias that followed, although we’d hired a foreign assistant, however, when my mother had her mental breakdowns, I’m the only one who knew how to handle it.

Caring for her, day after day, I’d had to walk on eggshells, and, the multiple challenges kept coming my way.  Once while I was cleaning up her place, I’d moved her massage chair, and I’d found, a lot of medication shoved underneath the chairs, turns out, that she suspects someone wanted to harm her, so she’d thrown the medications away unnoticed.

There was also once when I’d wheeled her to the park, all of a sudden, she spoke to me, in a hushed voice, “run quick!  The Communists are coming!”, when we’d arrived home, she wouldn’t allow me to turn on the lights in the house.  What’s worse was, that her days and nights were flipped, she’d stayed up all night long, hollering that she wanted to go outside, into the midnight hours.  She’d even mistaken me as a thief, called up her other children, accused me of stealing her jewleries.

Seeing how the mother I deeply loved changed her characters because of her dementia, seeing how her eyes now, stared, off into the space, dumbfounded, someone who was too hard to care for now.  Everything in my life, my moods, my schedules, had been taken over by her, I’d started having heart palpitations, insomnia, easily agitated, and often, I’d fallen, into a state of depression, until my mother died, of pneumonia a bit later on.

Taking care of my demented mother for five years, and before that, it was, caring for my demented father, her leaving, and my stresses are all gone, and, all of my conditions are gone as well, without being treated.  Recalling the past, if I could have it to do all over again, I would take care of myself, in the body, mind, and soul first, seek out the opinions of professionals, and asked my siblings, to shoulder the burdens with me.

And this, is what you had learned, from taking care of your demented mother, and, taking care of elderly with dementia IS not at all easy, because, with the symptoms of dementia, every case IS different, there’s NO one-size-fit-all, OR magical cures, and, all those medications, they can only slow down the deterioration progress, and, it is a burden, on the sole care providers of these demented elderly.


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Filed under Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Expectations, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Observations, Old Age

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