Stating the Her Aunt is Her Mom, on Parent-Child Interactions


My eldest sister had always been a career woman, when her second daughter was born, her in-laws are already elderly, and couldn’t manage to watch her daughter, and so, she’d given her child to her sister-in-law who was living close by.  Sometimes, she’d come home too tired, and, just allowed her daughter to stay at her aunts.  And so, my eldest sister’s daughter became a daughter to her younger sister-in-law, and, because her sister-in-law didn’t have any children, they’d loved her daughter as their own, and, would call her “baby”, and, her niece would call her, “Auntie-Mommy” too.

But, there’s the after effect of this, several times, my eldest sister’s family came back home to visit, and, we bore witness to how when my eldest sister wanted to kiss my niece, she’d turned her head, and, had that look of disgust too.  This behavior, we didn’t pay it much heed when she was still pre-kindergarten age, we’d just blandly told my eldest sister, to watch her interactions with her own offspring.  Without knowing, that a couple of years later, my thirteen-year-old niece still interacted with my eldest sister like so.  A few days ago, I saw my eldest sister’s face, looking like she’s going through something difficult, we didn’t know what to say to her.

In my niece’s mind, she seemed to accepted that her aunt was her real mom.  And now, she’s living in school, and only comes home on the weekends, she’d run straight, to her aunt’s place, and stayed for the weekend there, and, when my sister wanted to see her daughter, she’d paid her sister-in-law’s house a visit, it’d made me feel bad for her.

Because my eldest sister’s earning had helped out with the household economics, my brother-in-law wanted her to keep working after the marriage, and, toward how his own daughter reacted to her mother like so, he couldn’t do anything about it either.

There’s no right or wrong in this matter, maybe, the ones directly involved didn’t feel something was up, after all, they’re all, related by blood, so long as they got along with one another very well, there’s nothing wrong with this sort of interaction style.  But, we’d hoped, that my niece no longer rejected kissing her own mother, to treat her own mom, and, her auntie-mommy equally.

And so, this, is what you get, for NOT spending enough time around your own offspring, just pawned her off on a relative, and, the parents are still not the one at fault, because the parents must work, to provide, and, it’s a difficult situation to manage that’s for sure!


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Filed under Connections, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life

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