This Stillborn Child I’d Carried, for So Long

This stillborn child, I’d carried, for so long, I’m thinkin’, that maybe, it’s time, that I’d, let her go, but, how can I?  When I keep thinkin’ ‘bout how old she should be right now, versus how DEAD she actually is!

The stillborn child I’d carried, for so long, she’s affecting me, preventing me from, getting ON with the rest of my life, and, I’d mourned for her a very long time too, and, I don’t know why, but I’m not quite done yet, I think…

The stillborn child I’d carried, for so long, she will, keep on, STAYING DEAD, because I say so, because, I will NEVER allow WHAT happened to me in childhood, to happen to HER too, and, although she’d become, NONEXISTENT (when in TRUTH, she should’ve turned SIX this month!!!) in this world, sometimes, late at night, when the world’s fast asleep, I’d still get reminded, of this kid, that’d become, NOTHING more than a fantasy, a wonderful dream, that I was FORCED, to wake up from…

The stillborn child I’d carried, and NO, NOBODY will EVER “meet” her, because NO doctors or nurses will EVER bring her in, and, show her, to the REST of the world, because it’s MY responsibilities, to PREVENT what had happened to me in childhood, TO happen to her too, and, I still don’t CARE if that makes me an “unfit” mother, I KNOW I’m MORE fitting a MOTHER, than my own mother here!

And, those of you wondering: the Queen (moi!!!) is still NOT tearin’ up right now, and, believe it or don’t, do I really care???  Uh, let me think (thinking…thinking…still thinking…): HECK NO!!!

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Filed under Because of Love, Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Healing Process, Letting Go, Loss, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Women's Issues

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