In need of relationship advice here, a Q&A, translated…
Q: Mr. C, who’s 25-years-old, still a student, felt troubled with a relationship with an older woman wrote…
A few months ago, C started dating a woman who’s four years older than he, who’d started working already, they’d had sex together, C met her parents already. At first, they were, doubtful, but soon, they’d taken him as a part of his family, but, as the mother of the man learned, that the woman is four years his senior, she’d spoken up against their love, totally disregarded her former beliefs of “just considering the characters”, it’d stunned C.
His mother and older sisters worked together, took turns, to try to make C break up with his girlfriend, that if he broke up with the woman, then, they will NOT tell his father about their relationship. But in the end, the father still learned about it, and, he’d called C home, for a family meeting.
The primary reason for his families against him dating this woman was solely based off of age: the woman is almost thirty, he’s still in school, and, there’s the issues of bearing children, being laughed by his friends and relatives, “Can’t you get a younger woman?”, later on, his mother had even started crying to C’s older sister in the middle of the nights, “I felt I’m about to lose my son!”, anyway, before the girlfriend had even gotten on the playing field, she’d already STRUCK out! C felt angered, and was under enormous pressures, he wanted to know, what he can do.
A My Advice
The troubles of the woman being older than the man had become even MORE hard to handle in C’s case, he has at least FOUR older sisters, at least, he’d probably the only son, and, his parents cared very much about him, being able to reproduce a son, to bear the family’s last name; and there was the hard-to-overcome issues of “face” at play: their son had amazing qualities, why must he find a woman who’s four years older? However, his parents’ feared more about getting laughed at by their friends and relatives, more than their own against their son’s relationship.
I wanted to remind C that: his parents are not as open as he thought they were, instead, they are very traditional, so, it may be really hard, to change their beliefs, and C is still, very far from being able to support himself and marrying, and, during this time, the pressures would come at him like the raging waves, could he handle it all? And, the key to success of this relationship where the woman is older than the man, rests, solely, on the man! After a long time, the one who’d thrown in the towels are usually the males who were very active at the very beginning. The family members are not the keys in this, the point is, if he could stay the same throughout this process? Otherwise, after a few years, the woman had grown a couple more years, and, they’d started the talks of breaking up, and, the woman would surely be screwed!
Could he persist? Only C himself knows; could he be as set in his mind as he was from the very start? There’s no way of knowing that right now, I’m merely, mentioning the problems that are still in the distance.
And so, in this case, the woman is NOT the one who has a say, in what happens, and that’s simply BULLSHIT!!! And the man, using his family as the “shield” for marrying her, is still just a SORRY excuse, and, if this woman is smart, then, she’ll break up with him, and nowadays, many women don’t get married until they’re in their mid-to-late thirties, after all, we all have our careers to start off, before we’re able to, settle ourselves down, to start a family, and poppin’ ‘em babies out, and, with us, there’s that huge factor of BIOLOGICAL clock to consider too!!!