Empty-Mindedness, One’s Own Worst Enemy


Since I wrote, “Walking Out of the Confusions”, on how I was drawn into the net cafés for nine months back in my early twenties, and how it’d taken me nine years afterwards, to completely detox, I’d often received letters from parents, asking what to do when their own children were drawn in by the online games?

For instance, a short while ago, a mother wrote me, that her child is in high school, and had, skipped an entire month of classes, she knew her son was trying to escape, that after he’d come home, he’d locked himself up in his room, and logged online, to play the online games, and, no matter what she used, threats, or kind words to console him, it didn’t work, she’d asked me what to do?  And, I’d received so many letters like hers.

I’d told her flat out, that there’s no “formula” to deal with this matter, because everybody is in a different situation.  I’d written out my story, and, it was more beneficial, for those whose family members were drawn in by the online world.  Because I knew, that many of those who were addicted to the online games know that they’re addicted and know, that they shouldn’t be, but, this sort of “knowing”, can it be strong enough, to help the person stop her/his own addictions?

In this world, our strongest opponents is nobody else but ourselves.  They couldn’t fight off their own addictions, I knew, because I’d once lived like they are living right now.

So, I hoped that my story can be used as a bridge, to help the families of those who were addicted to those online games, get a closer look inside the hearts and minds of the addicted people, as for whether or not my words will help, then, it would change based off of the various people and circumstances.

But if, I must give an important key, to think about helping those who were drawn in.  I think, I’d probably say: that in this hard-to-master problem, the biggest opponent is actually not the “addiction” but the “emptiness of the hearts.”

The reason why one is drawn in by the internet, addicted to the games, is because they have emptiness of the hearts, if you just take away the addiction, it won’t work, if there’s that emptiness inside still, then, the person will surely find something ELSE to get addicted into.  You must fill up that void, so, there’s no room for the addictions to take up roots.

After clarifying this point, the most important work became clearer: find out the “source” of what you’re trying to distract yourselves from, it can be a job, a love, an interest, a goal, a faith, or, the combination of any and all of the above.

And because of this, you may treat the addictions, by telling the person who’s addicted to level off, but, the real way of treating the roots of addiction is still helping them fill up that void inside, help them find a new hobby, something to occupy their minds, some goals or directions to work towards.

Anyway, getting out from the addictions, it’s not about the speedy recovery, and you must prepare yourselves mentally, because the road to discovery will be long, AND hard, and, the members of one’s family must be willing to, work with the person long-term, in order to see the effects.

And so, overcoming addiction is what this one is about, and, the writer’s right about how people often used their addictions (whether if it’s unproductive or productive), to fill up some void on the inside, and, until you CAN find out what that void is, where it came from, the roots of it all, you will NEVER fully make the recoveries.

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Filed under Addiction, Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Life, Perspectives, Wake Up Calls

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