I Don’t Want to Speak of Old Age Again


My friend gave me a book, “The Depressed Paris”, I’d only gotten to the second essay, “The Desperation of the Elderly Woman,” I’d become depressed.  The story was about a thinly-framed elderly woman, seeing a beautiful baby, everybody was playing with him.  The old woman saw how this beautiful young life is just as fragile as she, without hair and teeth.  She’d walked toward the baby, wanted to smile at him, to touch him, but the child started screaming out of fear.  The elderly woman then ran away, hid in a corner, then cried… “the sorrows of the aging females!  The youth is already gone!  Even the babies we loved are now, fearful of us.”

With the black and white illustrations, the elderly woman hung her head, sat on the bench, started falling into the abyss of loneliness and desperation.

The writer was the genius French poet, Baudlaire.  He didn’t even get a taste of what old feels like, I couldn’t help but object: hey!  Is old age really filled with desperation?  Even though, youth is already gone, the setting sun is still quite beautiful still!”

The entire world’s population seemed to be aging right now, even there were predictions that told of how after 2050, the geriatrics will be taking over the world, and so, talking of old age became the “it thing”.  I’m already old for a very long time now, and so, there would be a lot of people from the younger generations who’d asked me about the experiences I had after I’d grown old, and I’d also been interviewed, alongside other elderly who lived well.  And I’m very honored, to get to recommend some of the books that helps people accept aging, in other languages as well as in Chinese.  I found, that those who aged gracefully have a couple of qualities: they all have some money saved up, not reliant on their children.  With the basic amounts of health remaining, can walk along freely on one’s own.  With an optimistic personality, the ability to live independently.  With the need for knowledge, unafraid of change, with hobbies, and doesn’t do nothing all day long.

And, those who are elderly and unhappy, some don’t lack their good health or money.  Those who are picky can pick a needle out of a haystack, and those who complained doesn’t see the world brightly, those who lived in self-pity always felt that they were being treated unfairly by others.  And, these personality traits became more and more apparent as one ages, because when one is still young, there are a lot to busy oneself with, and, with time on one’s hands now, not making some trouble would be too boring.  And, the families are usually the most convenient to find troubles with, and, a weird trend of this is that most males would pick on their spouses, while most females would pick on their daughters, or daughters-in-law.

There are many of those elderly who are living in poverty, are long-term bed ridden, demented, those wihwtou the families to look after, and, caring for these elderly, must rely on the system that the government sets up.  There’s a huge gap in the populations of the nursing homes, the rich elderly lived there, for the purpose of enjoyment and leisure, while if the poor moved in, they may be abused.  Can the government maange to take care of these persons.  It would be ashamed, to talk of a happiness that comes at old age with them.  This, is the mindset I have, when I’m tired of talking about old age.


Actually, we’re all in charge of our lives.  Take for me, who’s been old a long time, I’d kept a doctor’s words in my mind, “don’t think that once you’re elderly, you can’t do anything, don’t do everything, because you’re elderly either.”  After I retired, I’d taken up art feverishly, in the decades that came after my retirement, my passions are not worn out.  I still loved reading, and now, I’m into the adventure, travels, detective novels, I’d read a bunch of novels by Agatha Christie, because not only is she an excellent story teller, she’d written about human nature, and relationships in depth.  Once when I’d mentioned a Japanese mystery writer, and their eyes lit up, couldn’t believe, that an elderly like me would know him too.  but I believe, that another Japanese mystery writer is even more literary, and, those kids, they don’t know him.  My most favorite show is CSI, I’d sharpened up my mind with the goings on of the case.  Discovering the universe, the nature, and knew that the world is enormous, and I, miniscule.  And, I’d treated everybody with genuine dignity, and so, I’m in an upbeat mood all the time.  I’d heard, that a lot of ladies loved those soaps on love, or on mother and daughter-in-law duking it out, after you’d aged, if you had not tasted love, you will not get a chance to.  What you’d had a taste of will stay in your hearts forever, and, you no longer needed to get stressed out about those romantic relationships.  As for the issues of in-laws relations, you should ditch that when you’re elderly!  I’d learned to write on my iPad, to research online, to contact my friends, my children, to not give up because I’m elderly.  But, “don’t forget you CAN do anything even when you’d aged”, I’m also among those who hung their heads down low when I walked, looking at the ground, so I don’t trip and fall.  Watch out for my health, so I don’t impose on my offspring, to not use the name of “love” to do what I believe is right.

Youth will be gone for sure, and, as for if the dusk is colorful and filled with beauty, well, that’s reliant on the different individuals then.

And so, the KEY to aging gracefully is get involved in the world around you, do NOT start locking yourselves UP as you get older, you will need to continue to socialize, even as you’re older, because socializing with the outside world is what brings stimuli into your lives, and by getting a ton of stimuli in life, your brains are bound to not deteriorate.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Old Age, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Values

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