If You Take Care of Me, Then, I’ll Come Back Home, on Parent-Child Relations


I’d raised two daughters, six years apart.  After my eldest graduated from college, she’d worked for about six months, then told me she wanted to head over to Australia for a Work-Vacation, I wasn’t against it, I thought, that she’s a foreign language major, she should head to various foreign countries to broaden her horizons.  So, this February, my eldest took our blessings, and headed over to Australia, and is expected to be back in a year’s time.

My youngest daughter, in the start of August, got into a public university on the southern tip of the island, and now, she’s like a baby bird, with feathers all grown, about to leave the nest, and nobody can stop her.  My youngest daughter would meet up with her high school friends every single day, and would head over to the high school, to have conversations with her school teachers and the disciplinary officials, she hoped that she could reflect off of their experiences, and give herself the help she needed, for them to offer her some sound advice on college life.

One night after supper, my daughter started calling up her classmates on her cell, started talking about their plans for college.  They were laughing and having a grand time, it’d made my husband, who was sitting close by, feel bad.

I can understand how my husband felt about his youngest daughter, about to leave home, his heart is unwilling, and, yet, he must let her go.  But I know, that things we can’t prevent, as parents, we should learn to open our arms, and change our attitudes, and work hard, to help our youngest daughter to adapt to her own independence.  I think, that, is what we, as parents, must learn to manage, and master.

A bit later, my husband walked up to behind me, said to me, grimly, “A little while ago, I’d LINED our eldest, told her how her baby sister was about to head off to the south to school, that the house will become very quiet, it’s just me and mom.  And guess what she replied?”

I hadn’t the time to answer or to think, he’d said, “Your eldest told me, ‘if you take care of me, then, I’ll move back in.’”

And so, these two girls KNEW that their independence is very important, and, even though the parents are unwilling to let go, they still must, because baby birds are all grown, and ready to take flight, and you just CANNOT keep them bound, they’re BOUND to strike out on their own, besides, it’s a part of the growing up process.

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Filed under Awareness, Coping Mechanisms, Empty Nest, Family Matters, Life, Loss, Maturation, Properties of Life, Translated Work, Values

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