Monthly Archives: August 2014

Not Asking for Return

Acts of kindness, translated…

Once, I rode out with my mother, on the back of the motorcycle, I’d hugged on tightly to her waist, as we are caught up in conversation………

The accident happened, in the blink of an eye, we didn’t even have time to react, and, we were HIT by the car that was going the other direction!  I could NO longer recall the details of the events clearly now, but, what was impressive, was there was a man, who’d parked his mo-ped by the side, and came over, to help my mother and I get back u p.  we’d told him thanks, and he saw we were okay, and smiled and rode off in his motorcycle. Ever since, my views toward a lot of things are changed, turns out, that someone CAN help out, without wanting anything in return, we’re strangers to him, and yet, he was willing to lend us a helping hand without a second thought.

As I’d gone on to middle school, I’d never forgotten the man who’d helped us out that day, and so, I’d decided to carry forth his attitude, even though, I can only do so much, mostly, the things in daily life, like seeing a bicycle tipped over in the parking areas, and I’d helped straightened it up, picking up the trash I see left on the floors………

That, is the spirit of doing, without expecting anything in return, so long as someone gets moved by my actions, and feels helped by my behaviors, then, that would be more than enough to me.

Seeing these ordinary things, it’d made me realize, that compassion doesn’t need to be on a grander scale, even the smallest of things, sometimes can bring convenience to someone else.  And more importantly, we’re willing to do these small deeds.

And so, from being helped, it’d initiated this actions inside of you, and that, is what you’re carrying forth with, passing along that heart, that mindset, hoping someone would get moved by you, as you were moved by that person who’d helped you, without expecting anything in return.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Trends, Values

The Love Chain

Translated…

I was raised, in a single parent household, but, in the shelter of my mother’s hard work, I’d grown up, without any worries, and in a carefree manner too.

As I grew up, after I’d started working, my first paycheck, I’d given it to my mother, but she’d returned it back to me.  She told me, that I should keep ALL of my paychecks from here on out, but hoped that I could give the child social welfare program its monthly donation.

And so, I’d adopted a young girl in elementary school, every time around the major holidays, she’d written me, in her words, I’d felt her worries for her ailing mother, and the dreams she has for herself after she grows up.  And, I’d always wrote back with encouragements, telling her, to keep working toward her goals.

I thought, that this, was the lesson that my mother tried to teach me, the joys from giving.

Later on, I’d realized, that there was a huge secret behind my mother’s asking me to do this—since from in her elementary school years, and all the way up to before her middle school graduation, she’d received assistance from the children’s welfare foundation.

I knew, that my grandmother’s house wasn’t so well –to-do, that my mother got into the world earlier on in her life, later, she’d part-timed through school and finished her education.  But my mother never told me, that she’d received assistance from the children’s welfare foundation.

After I knew the reasons, I’d finally understood where she was coming from.  When she was younger, she’d received the assistance from others, she’s filled with kindness, and waited until she made it through her hardest time, she’d hoped to give back, even IF it’s just for a little bit.

My mother also wanted to transfer this love she’d received to her own daughter, I hoped, that the kindness that my mother had passed to me, can help make a seed into a flower, until she bloomed and this cycle of love will never end.

Because the mother received help from the organization, she kept her heart of thanks, and had her own daughter, when she was capable, help someone else out, and, the mother had helped initiated the cycle of kindness.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Awareness, Because of Love, Child Development/Education of Children, Expectations, Kindness Shown, Lessons, Life, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Story-Telling

Short Hair

Translated…

Since I was a child, I’d asked those I loved, with in a childish manner, “Do you like me with long or short hair.”, and the answers I got was more of the same, and so, I’d always grown my hair long.

This, was an especially hot summer, my hair that’s to my waistline, is hard to manage, and it’d gotten me hot too, and because I’d worked so hard all year long in the hospitals, and didn’t have time to get to a barber, even though, I’m now, annoyed by the heat that my long hair had imposed upon me, but, I still didn’t want to part with my long hair.

This head of long hair, I’d wondered, could it have more value to it?

And, a scene of how I’d chatted up with a cancer patient, about how her hair had fallen out after the chemotherapy, so, why don’t I, just donate my hair, so they can make wigs, and help the cancer patients find their self-confidences back again?

And so, on my day off, I’d carried this sacred attitude, gone to the hair salon.

“Your hair is over thirty centimeters long, it wasn’t permed or dyed, and it doesn’t have that natural curliness, it very fitting, to be donated to those with cancer!”, my hair stylist said to me.

But, if I were to cut, then, the length would be three centimeters lower from my ears.  The hair stylist learned that I’d never had my hair trimmed so short, wanted to give me the time to think about it. But, when I was reminded of how hard and how much strength those diagnosed with cancer are battling, I’d insisted upon my original decision.

The day I’d donated my hair, I was filled with joy in my heart, my long hair, had become a love, and I’m sending it out, to all who need it.

Even though in my heart, they look just as beautiful, with, or without their hair, but I believe, that my kindness can give courage to a lot of other people.

Because I’d chosen to cut my hair short, I’d gained so much happiness too.

So, this woman decided to donate her hair, and, that became her primary motivation for her trim, and, in getting her hair cut short, yeah, she may have lost that sense of her being the older version of who she was before, but, she’d helped someone else out, and she found happiness in that, and, that just shows you, how helping others not only benefitted those being assisted, but it can also lift one’s own moods up.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Expectations, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Life, Maturation, Observations, Perspectives, Translated Work, Trends, Values

The Game of God, Man, and Demons

Translated…

A shiny spirit dog, looking like a god, he rammed into the world of demons that’s filled with sorrows and pains and scariness, on his way, he’d passed through the caves with the sharpened teeth, and managed to rouse up the bats that flew all over the places, like how the world of the demonic had sneezed, then, that, was when the spirit dog realized, “This place, is NOT the world of demons!”, because he smelled the scent of the more humans………(more humans?  It’s actually, how the people had pressed down on that Kudos button on their Facebook pages.)

And so, this, is merely, the “interactions” of the public on someone’s Facebook page, and, the dog is a metaphor, probably, for someone who doesn’t even KNOW what Facebook is, and, the “dog” had its first taste of what Facebook is, and the effects it has.

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Filed under Codependence, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Facebook, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Translated Work, Trends, Writing

Simplicity

Translated…

Even though, my mother’s been gone five years now, I’d still think of her from time to time.

I was reminded of her and her motto “simplicity”.

After my father died, my mother packed up a few simple clothing pieces into her suitcase, she didn’t even consider the seasons, and came up north with me in a hurry.

In the cramped up space of the dormitory, every day, my mother went to work, just as I, it’s just that, her work is spontaneous and simple: making waste papers into trash boxes, ironed my shirts, or, leaning by the windows, and watched the passersby.  Waiting for the clock that’s not on time at my work place.

The long days treaded so slowly by, sometimes, a late return call from me, and so, my mother could only head to the fridge and find some leftovers, then, keep on waiting.  If I’d come home too late, then, she’d be accompanied by her unsettling nature, to take her to the next morn.

And, tomorrows, is usually, more of the same.

I believe, that the simplest feeling that my mother had was loneliness.  One day, I’d taken out the newspapers, collected, over the years, and asked my mother to help me sort them out.  Being elderly, she couldn’t sit up straight, with her wrinkled hands, she’d started swimming, in a very concentrated manner, in the papers, all of a sudden, it’s, as if she got taken back to the days of old where clipping off newspapers was the it thing to do.  Back then, a pair of scissors, a bottle of glue, a stack of paper, everybody in the family gets involved, and, we were all having a grand time!  And still, even if now, it’s just her there, doing all the work, it was able to put the light back in my mother’s eyes again.

Memories, for my mother, I think, may be the simplest kind of happiness, perhaps?

Later, the school called me, as my mother said goodbye to me at the door, s he’d reminded me, “If you have need to clip the papers, don’t forget to bring them by again!”

Even her wishes, were all too simple too.

Simple, it’d let me have a closer look into my mother’s gentle and forgiving nature, and my own faults.

And so, because you’re grown, and you have too busy a life, you don’t have the time for your elderly, and yet, because she is your mother, whatever you’d asked her to help you out with, she’d do it, willingly, without a word of complaints, and that, is the difference in treatment for parents to children and for children toward their parents.

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The Excuse for Her Husband’s Emotional Affair

A Q&A, translated…

Q: a Wife in pain wrote to inquire…

Been married for twenty years, and she’d shockingly discovered that her husband was extremely close with a female golf buddy, even though, she didn’t catch them in the act, but, on Facebook and on LINE, the husband and the female golf friend spoke of love often.  And the husband firmly believed, that “emotional affairs” doesn’t do any damages to the marriage, not only did he keep in contact with her, but at work, they’d gone out with one another too.

The husband, in order to not get spied on by his wife, he’d double coded his accounts, and, the sexually-illicit messages, after they’re transmitted, he’d deleted them one by one.  The wife’s nagging didn’t stop him, and she couldn’t know how things are going with her husband and his affair; for the sake of the children, she could only tolerate his lying and his inability for self-control.  She, who’s in pain, wanted to know, is there a better way she can handle this matter? A My Opinion

The woman found out her husband’s closeness with that female golf buddy was when her husband picked up a call from her, and used a very gentle tone of voice that she’s not even heard him use, she’d checked her husband’s cell, and discovered, that he’d been in contact with his girlfriend a lot.  Other than golfing together, they’d gone on movie dates, shopping trips, but he doesn’t use a credit card, and he doesn’t take home the receipts either.  They’d been in contact for four months now, and are getting closer to one another.

The husband, after getting found out, they’d had a huge fight, the husband used the attitude of, “I’m not leaving any traces of my bad behaviors, what can you do about it?”  And the wife, in order to keep her marriage, she couldn’t do anything about her lying-to-her-face but going-behind-her-back husband.

This, is one of the scariest scenarios in a marriage, one side used “spiritual connection” to find a friend of the opposite sex, and his behaviors are NOT limited by their marriage, he got to enjoy all the passions, all the loves that the affair brings to him, this, is actually, a very selfish behavior.

I believe, that spiritual affair is merely a stage, a man and a woman attracted to one another, would go out on dates often, and, it’s hard to determine, when the line of “spiritual” will be breached.  In this situation, the one who’s having the affair is in control of her/his own behaviors, there’s little to nothing that the spouse can do, you must prepare for the worst, and, sometimes, you might gain the strength for a confrontation that way.  If you’d allowed your husband to think, “my wife’s going to put up with my affairs no matter what”, then, what does he have to worry about?  Once a man goes bad, he IS bad, think, what can you use, to restrain him?

Well, this, is a situation that married ladies out there may face, because your husband is WEAK (aren’t they all!!!), and, the only reason why they’d let us find out about their affairs is because they’re getting B-O-R-E-D, or, we’re too observant, either way, we’re the ones, acting, and that, is exactly what they’re counting on, and, if you fall for that, then, you still hadn’t wised UP yet, and, you can’t put up with your husbands’ (1 @ a time) affairs, what CAN you do?  Absolutely N-O-T-H-I-N-G, because we women take our wedding vows MORE seriously than they all do, and we’re more bound by moral restraints than they ever will be, but, we can always FILE for divorce, and then, SUE their asses off, yeah, that, is what we can do, but NOT in this case, because the woman still wants her husband back, and I can’t understand W-H-Y, maybe because I’m still never married…

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Excuses, Extramarital Affairs, Letting Go, Life, Marriages, Messed Up Values, Obstacles in a Relationship, Rationalization, Spoiled Rotten, Translated Work

After the Television is Turned Off, a Unique Way to Educate

Translated…

After my eldest, my second child too, is graduating from NTU this year.  Since when they were younger, we never had cable television, other than the newscasts and a few cartoons, there are rarely any chances they’d sat down in front of the television.

From the moment when I got pregnant with my firstborn, I’d bought the book, “Education, Starting at Age 0”, and, before my son was born, I’d bought the entire set of nursery rhyme tapes, I’d started singing the tunes and memorizing them first, I want my child to open his eyes, and hear me sing to him when I held him.  Turns out, when I’d started singing to him, he’d become very focused and happy.

I’d even transcribed an entire set of encyclopedia onto tapes for them, when they were in kindergarten, we’d done a wide variety of science experiments at home.  And in the dining room, the kitchen, I’d taught them to recognize the various species of fishes I’d cooked, gave them their biology lessons that way.

After work and on the weekends, the whole family would enjoy reading together, playing with Legos, blocks, going out to the parks to slide, to play on the swings, and in the summers, I’d taken them to the science museum where they’d gotten a TON of hands-on activities, and I’d taken them abroad to visit the museums, the aquariums, and the amusement parks………and, there are our footprints all over the island of Taiwan too, after all, the natural world is the child’s encyclopedia.

My sons had never been sent to afterschool programs or gone to a cram school, after school, other than practicing on the piano, doing their homework assignments, reading, playing and exercising are their main activities, on weekends, they’d mostly stayed outdoors to observe insects, plants, and the rock formations.  The two brothers’ favorite question to ask was “why?”, when they were growing up.  Parents may be a live dictionary, but, as the children get older, the live dictionary may no longer be enough.  All the way, accompanying them, on their searches of the answers to the questions they have, this, is one of the best activities for my sons and I.

And so, this mother is open, she doesn’t push her kids to perform well in school, instead, she’d allowed them to follow their own interests, and, kids who grew up like that would learn to take responsibilities, because the grades they’re making, are NOT for the parents’ or their school teachers’ sakes, it’s for their own sakes, and, this teaching style would make the kids more responsible too.

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Filed under Awareness, Childhood, Early Exposures, Education, Lessons, Life, Nonconformity, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization, Translated Work, Values