When the Replies of an Inquiry Became Too Emotional, on Filial Relations

Let’s see how this one will work out, shall we???  Translated…

I’d gone out with Jen to dine on the weekends, Jen specifically picked the place where her daughter was part-timing.  And, in our meals, Jen started talking of how her daughter, a few days ago after work got super angry, complained of how tiresome her work was, and that she was planning on quitting her job.

Jen believed, that this, was a very hard to come by, work opportunity which she’d found for her child, close to home, and the boss is more than kind, that it was, a hard-to-come-by opportunity, and that her daughter should take advantage of it.  And so, she’d replied to her daughter, “We’re very poor, that, is why you’re working”.  I knew, that Jen had NO intentions of blaming her daughter, but it was in the heat of the moment she’d blurted this out.  Jen wanted me to help console her daughter, to keep her job, NO matter what.

Jen and her daughter lived together, just the two of them, and her daughter had been placed in the palms of Jen’s hands, and Jen took good care of her, and even though, their lives are hard, Jen still did what she could, to fulfill her daughter’s wishes.  The mother and child are very close to each other, and you can see them hugging and kissing a lot.

This summer, Jen rounded up over ten thousand dollars for Yun to head to Japan for an internship, it was a very good chance, to broaden her child’s horizons.  Jen saw how hard-to-come-by this opportunity was, and, she’d done everything she possibly could, and finally gotten enough money.  At the same time, Jen also hoped, that Yun could carry her work experiences at the restaurant, so she’d have a basis for comparison, to boost her own learning.

Jen had done all the “homework” needed for Yun’s internship abroad, and believed that she’d reached an agreement with her daughter too.  A few days ago, Jen happily told me, that Yun had handed her first paycheck completely to her, Jen felt very warm about this.  But, in a few short second’s time, the mother and child started the spat on to keep or to quit the job.

I believe, that Jen was way too emotional toward her daughter’s replies, after all, it was her child’s first part-time experience, she still needed some time to adjust to the work environment, she should try to understand what sort of difficulties she’s facing at work, and come up with a solution that can solve the issues together.  After school, Yun did NOT go out and have fun with her friends, and was willing to take her mother’s advice to work part-time, to get the knowledge of working in a restaurant, it’s already very hard to come by and should be encouraged.  As for the difficulties she faces at work, they must separate what is what, then, they can come up with a solution.

During these past couple of years, Yun had matured quite a bit, and could understand the hardships of her mother, I truly hope, that Jen could hear her daughter out, to allow Yun to stand more firmly in the workforce, and work more happily.

And so, the mother is WAY too pushy, and she still hadn’t gotten the WHOLE story, she just saw what’s on the outside of her daughter’s work environment, and that just shows, that unless you’re on the INSIDE, you should NOT be making A-N-Y comments about anything, after all, it is her daughter who goes off to work, dealing with whatever she’s dealing with, and I get that the mother’s trying to get them out of living poor, but pushing her kid to take that job that is giving the daughter a bad time is NOT the way to do it!!!

 

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Communications, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Letting Go, Observations, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Values, Wake Up Calls

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