He Doesn’t Know What’s Going Through My Mind, on Relating to One Another

Even though, men are used to keeping everything bottled up, but, once in awhile, they needed their feelings validated too, don’t you, boys???

Recently, I’d seen my good friend from school, sharing the photos of her travels to see the cherry blossoms on Facebook.  Because she knew my husband, plus, we all loved to travel, and so, I’d often told my husband about her whereabouts.  In my cognition, I was only giving a “news report”, not hinting anything, without knowing, that my husband didn’t really know me at all.

A few days ago, because my youngest daughter was hurrying out the door, and didn’t reply to her father’s scolding, he’d gotten angered, said, “Other people’s daughters are so very close to their dads, how come my daughter tries to get as far away from me as she possibly can?”  “You’d often told me of where your classmates went, where your colleague went, it’s given me a TON of stress, do you NOT know that?”

Turns out, what I thought was “sharing”, actually became his “stress”!  That evening, other than using LINE to warn my daughter about this, that she needed an attitude adjustment when she’s around her dad, I too, had introspected my own behavior, had I, unknowingly, caused unnecessary pressures on the one I loved? Even though we’d been married for over three decades, I still believed, that marriage is a hard to master course, and, both the husband and the wife must hone up on their skills, that way, the two of you can dance the dance of two well.

And so, this man finally VOICED his displeasure, and, it took him very long to do it, because it is untraditional, that men in cultures such as this one show their feelings to the world, and, because they don’t show their feelings, doesn’t mean that they don’t have feelings.

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Filed under Awareness, Communications, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters

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