A Great Companion that Helped Me Through the Hardest Part of My Life, a Story on Marriage


Thirty years ago, in order to get pregnant, I’d gone to see an assortment of doctors, western, eastern medicines, gone through endless examinations too.  And, my heart was between expectancy, uncertainty and disappointment.  After many years of trying, I’d even failed in the in-vitro too, it’d caused me to get tired in the mind, body and the heart.  Gladly though, I had my husband there with me, every step of the way, he’d optimistically told me, “It’s okay, it’ll be fine.”

When we’d decided to adopt, the noises came from all over.  My mother-in-law phoned us almost everyday, and blamed us, why won’t we pick a son from my husband’s eldest, second oldest, and third oldest brother’s son, and register him in our household, why must we adopt someone else’s child, are we planning on leaving ALL our assets to an “outsider” when we die………

This sort of never-ending grilling, I was on the verge of breaking down, I was about to give in, but my husband insisted, “It wouldn’t be fair who we choose from, the eldest, the second oldest, the older brothers, what?  Are we supposed to take a son from each of them?”

Later on, every six months, my husband would take me, and my mother-in-law abroad.  My mother-in-law had never given up on her suggestions, but she was NO longer as pushy, but, every now and then, we’d heard her complained.

When my son was seventeen, my mother-in-law died at the age of eighty-three.  Now, my son is twenty-three, I now have to withstand the cruel treatment from my own sisters.

My husband and I started from scratch, I’m a penny-saver, and my husband knew how to keep himself in check too.  Originally, my sisters who are better off than we were, in the changes of the two decades, maybe, they’d run out on their lucks, but, every time they’d asked, we’d never told them no.

Last year, my mother died at the age of eighty-six, left about four million dollars in cash.  My husband told me that I must give up on my inheritance rights, that the money should be left, to be divided among my sisters, and I’m all too thankful to his generosity and kindness.

It’s just that the ease didn’t last long at all, awhile ago, I’d heard the phones, and I’d started to fret again.  The once-forgotten sense of helplessness and panic came right back up again, when my cell showed that it was my sisters, I’d gotten so pissed off, so disappointed, and my heart went completely coldc.

They wanted me to go to a notary public, to register one of their own kids under my house, and the reasons are all too familiar, and too sharp for my ears, “What, you gonna let some outside take over your assets when you die…”, I’m truly heartbroken, the scar that just won’t heal back up, got tore, wide open by my sisters, and on top of that, they’d dumped SALT on it too.

But gladly, my husband was right beside me all the way, as I got through this sadness in life, with an amazing man by my side, it’s more than enough for this life.

And from this, you can see, how important it is, to have a spouse who’ll stand BY your side, who will give you the EMOTIONAL supports as you need, and yet, how many of you ladies can say, that you truly have that?  And, how many of you, guys can honestly say, that you are by your wives’ (1 @ a time!!!)sides, all the way, standing next to them?  Not very many, and, a good man like this, is still, very hard to find…

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Filed under Despair, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Fertility, Life, Loss, Observations, Planning for the Future, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Reality Clashes with Dreams, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle

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