Mamas’ Boys & Daddies’ Girls are Feared by All?

I wonder W-H-Y this is, tips on parenting, translated…

All the Mamas’ Boys and Daddies’ Girls are created equal—by the parents.

In recent years, “mamas’ boys” not only appeared in kindergarten, elementary schools, there are mamas’ boys in colleges and in the workforce as well, and, even when the issue of dating surfaced, people are worried that they might fall for a “mama’s boy” or a “daddy’s girl”.  But, the parenting expert advisor, Mom Mee stated it so clearly, that “mamas’ boys and daddies’ girls’ are made by the parents, that the problem is NOT with the kids.

The Lack of Trust Doesn’t Come Overnight

“Back then, we’d said, that children are too reliant on the parents, and now, the parents are overrelying on the kids”.  Mom Mee said, that because people are having less kids these days, they’re more prone to get too involved in their kids’ lives, and become too controlling, and would want to make the kids’ life decisions FOR them.

And, after the kids got the sweetness from letting the parents handle every single one of their affairs, they’d become lazy too easily, and thus, became more irresponsible too.  And, based off of how this vicious cycle is going, from kindergarten to the workforce, no matter what sort of trouble one gets in, there would be a “mommy” handling it, and so, mama’s boys aren’t made overnight.

Actually, the “birth” of mama’s boys also showed a serious problem in the interactions of parents and children.  Mom Mee, who has a teenager at home stated, that when the parents wouldn’t let the kids decide on their own, that meant that they do NOT trust the kids’ ability to make decisions for themselves, “the weight of the trust is the weight of the relationship.”

Tolerating Their Mistakes, Make the Children Take Responsibilities

Mom Mee used her own childrearing experiences, before kindergarten, parents can make decisions for their offspring, including helping them establish a set routine, good eating habits, and the rules should NOT change easily because the parents wanted to suck up to the kids.  But, after elementary age, the parents should start to let go, “tolerate that the kids will trip and fall, or to make mistakes on their own.”  Mom Mee said, that parents MUST allow the kids to have the chance for making the decisions.

Mom Mee stressed, that parents can use listening, to help the kids sort out their decisions.  Every time before bedtime, Mom Mee would accompany her son, to hear him talk about the goings on at his school, just listening, and NO advising.  For instance, use “Why do you think that is?”, or, “why did you want to handle it like that?”, to replace, “You should have done this or that”, like giving commends.

Taking Care of Everything, Leaving Children with Nothing to Learn

The clinical psychologist, Yi-Chong Wang stated, that “mamas’ boys” came from parent-child interactions, maybe the parents feel that they’re willing to give, and the kids willing to take, and that what goes on in one’s own house is nobody else’s business.  But in truth, this sort of a codependence can reduce the children’s worldly experiences to ZERO.

Wang used the example of online gaming, if the parents kept “beating up the monsters” for the kids, and the accumulation of experience and gold coins are on the parents, in growing up, the kids have ZERO experience in defeating the monsters, and this is very BAD for the kids’ futures.

Wang said, that in her office, there are more and more cases of mamas’ boys, and the parents who helped “beat the monsters” for the children are very insecure about ones’ own methods of education used toward their young.  The parents should establish the confidences themselves, and trust the kids, that way, they can break this unhealthy, codependent interaction.

And so, this, is from the LIPS of the experts: STOP taking care of everything for your children, and I KNOW how hard it is for you, mommies and daddies to LET go, but, you have to, after all, you WILL die before your kids (under normal circumstances, that is), and, IF you don’t TRAIN them to take responsibilities for their own lives, how do you think they will fare, after you are NO longer there, to WIPE up their SHITS???

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Carelessness of Adults, Cause & Effect, Childhood, Downward Spiral, Excuses, Family Matters, Issues of the Society, Lessons, Life, Messed Up Values, Nature vs. Nurture, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Professional Opinions, Properties of Life, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, The Declarations of Independence, Translated Work, Trends, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

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