On filial relations, aging gracefully, translated…
My father, is a high-quality elderly person, he’s ninety years old this year, and chose to stay in our ancestral home in Meinon, living a very simple, farm life, the open fields by the house where he lives is his exercise field.
Regularly, he’d lived alone, and, at noon of the Chinese New Year, the children and grandkids would all show up, and we’d all sit together, at three large tables to eat, after we’d finished the meal, the children and grandkids would leave one by one, and by dusk, it was him, all alone again. The children and grandchildren wanted him to go out to spend the holidays, and he’d tell them, “I feel more comfortable on my own.”
As I was about to embark on the elderly stage of life, I’d learned from him: learning to get along with oneself, getting used to solitude, then, you’d be able to enjoy the freedom of one.
Other than raising the four of us, brothers, they’d also helped taken care of the grandkids, they’d busied themselves for a very long time, and, it was hard on them. My mother passed away some five years ago, and now, there’s only my father, and, all of his children and grandchildren lived far away from him.
As the younger generations worked hard to establish themselves, we’d only come home on the holidays, but, I’d never heard my father complain, that, was truly had to come by! My father didn’t get enough education, he’d spent half of his life in poverty, and now, his children and grandkids are all very well-rounded, and he believed that he is beyond blessed.
Every time when the grandchildren had examinations, my father would NOT call them up and ask how they’d done, he knew, that over care and over concerns will cause them pressures. In all these years, we’d also never heard him comparing his children, or talked of which daughter-in-law wasn’t kind enough to him and such, or which grandchild was good, or bad.
My father is quiet, as am I, even if I’d returned home, we rarely talked, but I have NOTHING but respect and love for him. His lack of words is NOT aloofness, he cared, but NOT to the point that he’s worri3ed, and that had gotten this family, to run more smoothly.
My father, at his age, can live on his own, peacefully, this, would be a blessing for us all, his children. At the end of last year, my nephew had a wedding in Tainan, my father didn’t want to travel again, he’d chosen, to stay at his home in Menon, to silently offer HIS blessings to his grandson’s marriage.
He knew, that he couldn’t offer assistance, to help out, that excessive worries are useless. Letting go, that, was how he was able to live each and every day with ease.
And so, this, is what an elderly man does, for his old age, he CHOSE not to worry, because he knew, that worries are useless, plus, he KNEW that children will have their own life to live, and, worries are for naught, which, is WHY he is able to feel at ease.