Monthly Archives: March 2014

Keeping Her Cool Was What Kept Her from Being Raped

The WITS of a woman, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

“I’m not a hooker, you can’t do this to me!” a woman, Wang who rented a place in Taichung, couldn’t’ take a man whom she’d never ever met, Jing’s requests, to open up the doors, to allow him to get the things that belonged to his ex-girlfriend, without knowing, that as soon as she’d opened up the doors, he’d used a pair of scissors, and threatened to rape her, Wang was extremely calm in interacting with him, she’d told him, that rape is a serious felony, that, was how she’d gotten away, without a scratch, the High Subsidiary Courts found Jing guilty of attempted rape and gave him a light sentence of two years in prison.

The collective courts considered, that Jing is young and impulsive, but, he DID show signs of remorse, and the victim was willing to forgive him, and so, that, was why he’d been given, a lighter sentence.

The twenty-five year-old Jing, two years ago, on the early morning of May 16, at around six, went to Wang’s place, and started knocking on her doors, asked her to open up, claimed that he wanted to get a gift he’d given to his ex back, Wang told him, that she’d moved in a year ago, and there was NOTHING of the sort, but, Jing kept begging and pleading, and, Wang finally allowed him, without knowing, that she’d opened up the door for a rapist.

Jing pretended to be looking for the thing, and couldn’t find it, and, he’d turned around, and grabbed Wang, forced her onto the bed, used a pair of scissors, held it against her neck, asked her to have sex with him, and, he’d fondled her breasts with her clothes on, and attempted to strip her clothes off too, Wang fought hard, the two got into a deadlock.

Wang calmly said to Jing, “I’m NOT a hooker, you can’t do this to me, you MUST remain calm, you hadn’t found your ex yet, and you’d made a mistake, you’d still get sent to jail.” And, took the advantage of when Wang loosened his grips, worked hard, to try to take the scissors away, the scissors later fell to the ground.

After Wang consulted him, Jing seemed to be more lucid, did attempt to rape her again, but, he’d still held Wang in his arms, pinned her down, and forcibly kissed her hair and neck for about five to ten minutes. At around seven in the morning, Wang told him, that she needed to head out for work, and that, was when Jing got on his motorcycle, and rode off, and that, was when Wang called up her boyfriend, and cried, and told him what had happened, and she’d called the police, the police reviewed the surveillance on the street corners, and managed to get Jing’s license plate, and made an arrest.

And so, this woman’s ability to remain calm as she had was probably what saved her from getting raped, but she was still molested, and the loser is now, caught, thanks to how she’d kept calm through the entire process.

 

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Filed under Abuse, Abuse of Power, Abusing Someone's Trust, Excuses, Lessons, Life, News Stories, Observations, Rapes, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex

Offering Their Condolences

People are still, W-A-Y, too kind there, aren’t they???

People would offer their condolences to me now, because you’re already done, and, they’d ALL gotten to know, how close we’d become, and so, they thought, that losing you, must be real hard on me, so, they tried to comfort me, I suppose…

Offering their condolences, why can they just LEAVE me alone? I’d just taken a hard-to-come-by STEP away from losing you, and yet, with those “kind-hearted” individuals who THOUGHT they KNEW what was happening to me, offering ME their condolences, I’d gotten SUCKED BACK, into that vortex of never-ending sorrows once more.

Offering their condolences, you may, but that, still doesn’t mean, that I’ll take your condolences kindly, because I don’t have to, because NONE of you know what it is, that I’m currently going through, so, why don’t you ALL just SHUT the F*** (like I’d said, “maxed out”???) UP, and just let me get ON with my life here??? I’d surely appreciate it very much, okay???

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Filed under Healing Process, Loneliness/Solitude, Loss, Trends, White Picket Fence

Healing Through Denial

Denial is a needed-to-be-SKIPPED process of death, or dealing with all forms of loss, because one can easily get TRAPPED, by denial, and, never, EVER, E-V-E-R, come BACK out again. Healing through denial? Are you F***ING (b/c I’d “maxed out”…) kidding me? How can you HEAL back up properly, with DENIAL, tagging along?

Healing through denial, that, is just way too FUCKING (my bad!!!) retarded, how can one heal through denial? And, wouldn’t you NEVER be able to get OUT, from that false sense of security that denial has, of offering you?

So, denial and healing, they’re still NOT the “it couple”, nor do they belong together, like the black and the ivory keys of a piano, side-by-side. And, you can BE in denial ALL you want, but, once you’d gotten SUCKED, into that V-O-R-T-E-X, chances of you making it out, unscathed, is still NEXT to N-O-N-E there!!!

 

 

 

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Filed under Behavior Modifications, Being Alone, Connections, Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, Life, Loss, Messed Up Values, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Rationalization, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Stupidity, Trends, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Indifferences Toward Death

This, was how I eventually became, as I’d desensitized myself toward death, I mean, I’d lost a TON of my loved ones already, and so, the SUREST way to NOT feel anything, is to desensitize myself, quickly.

And so, on that very FIRST funeral I was made to go, I kissed the dead on the cheeks, before they’d closed UP the coffin, the hardest part was still NOT being NEAR the dead, after all, the deceased USED to be someone I loved.

Then, over the years, I’d lost, many, many, many MORE friends AND family members, and toward the end, I didn’t even C-R-Y anymore, as I’d numbed myself out completely and totally (whoopee, and YAY ME!!!).

The indifferences toward death, that, is how I’d felt when you’d died, it wasn’t as if I didn’t love you, because I H-A-D, it’s just that after all those storms I was FORCED to weather on my own, well, let’s just say, that NOTHING else in life can possibly scare me, or get to me again.

So yeah, my transformation, or metamorphosis (if you want to call it that!!!) is complete, and I reckon, that I shall NOT evolve again………

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, On Death & Dying

A Stranger’s Child

She was, a stranger’s child, the offspring, of someone I never knew, and I will NEVER know, she came to our family to live with us, because we’d signed up to be foster parents.

A stranger’s child, I’d found it hard to make connections with her, there are just too much sorrows, and sadness too, in her young eyes, and, I’d felt her sorrows, and, it’d become too hard, for me to even look at her, because I’d felt ALL her pains, sorrows, and sufferings.

A stranger’s child, how can that be? She was MINE, and yet, she is just, so distant, and, it was, just WAY too hard, for me, to keep reaching out, to those empty hands, and eventually, I’d given up, and, the moment I’d stopped trying to love her, she’d responded, turns out, that I was, trying WAY too hard, to love this stranger’s child, and, all I had to do, was to relax, and, everything still falls, into ITS rightful place, I’d become her mother, and her, my daughter now…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Adoption, Attitude, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Social Awareness, Values, White Picket Fence

One Mistake at a Time

This, is how I’d learned, to get OVER life, one mistake at a time, and there’s still NO other way, to get OVER what you’d lost. One mistake at a time, I’d made, and, before I’d healed up proper (still know!!!), I’d gone and made, YET, another irreparable error.

One mistake at a time, that, is how I learned, and, this, is me, after a ZILLION mistakes later, and, I wish, that I could say, that I’m finished, making ALL the mistakes I will ever make in life, but I can’t, because I’m still making the mistakes as we speak.

One mistake at a time, that, is how I’d recovered, from the ghosts of my past, but, without killing ALL those ghosts completely, they’d still come back to me, and haunt me, and gnaw me at nighttime, and, I’d become, more, and more burdened, by those mistakes that are haunting me, and, some, I don’t even recall making here!!!

One mistake at a time, but W-H-Y? Because I can’t juggle them all at once, and, I can’t control the speed of the mistakes I’m making, and so, they ALL came to me, one, at a time.

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Expectations, Hindsight, Karma, Lessons, Life, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Rationalization, Stupidity, Values, Vicious Cycle

Buried Alive by Time

Like that mudslide, time had buried me, completely, and, I just couldn’t breathe, I’m slowly, suffocating here………

Buried alive by time, time is marching too fast, and, I’d gotten left, in the stampede, and nearly, gotten trampled to death, but even though I’m barely breathing here, I still have a couple of breaths left inside.

Buried alive by time, it won’t be easy, for me to survive, as I’d waited, and waited, and, nobody heard, to even KNOW about my S.O.S. Buried alive by time, time is slowly, suffocating me to death, and, I’d tried to make each and every breath last, but, eventually, I’d needed, to exhale………

Buried alive by time, how can this be? I just had unlimited number of minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades, and now, I got NONE.

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Despair, Excuses, Expectations, Life, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Properties of Life, Values, Wake Up Calls, Writing

Born, into a World of Superficiality

Congratulations, you’re now, the “proud parents” of SUPERFICIALITY!!!

Born, into a world of superficiality, can you imagine how HARD it must’ve been, for the Ugly Duckling, to GROW UP? Imagine how he (it was a boy, wasn’t it???) must’ve withstood the taunting from his older siblings, and getting picked on by the rest of the “duckling” population too… Born, into a world of superficiality, it is way too hard, for someone who doesn’t pay A-N-Y attention to outside appearance to cope, but, we still M-U-S-T, because that, is how we WILL grow up, painfully, getting PICKED on, singled out, and endured through bouts of mistreatments, otherwise, how would we grow UP, with the right kind of “properties”?

Born, into a world of superficiality, you MUST have the mannequin figures, that the clothes fitted properly on, or, you’d be labeled as too FAT, and, let’s face it, NOBODY wants to be NEXT to a tub of L-A-R-D, do we all now? I wouldn’t imagine so here…

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Attitude, Awareness, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Values

The Tribulations After the “I Do”~~~Between the In-Laws

The troubles started, after the “I do”, translated…

After I wed, getting along with my mother-in-law became the biggest tribulation. My in-laws only had my husband and his older sister, after his older sister married, they’d focused their entire hearts on my husband. My in-laws were retired teachers, very good with financial planning, our cars, house, and my husband’s and my son’s insurances, they’d taken care of, all we needed, was to heed their advices, and, they’d provided us with a TON of things. Naturally, we should both be very thankful, because we would NOT need to work as hard anymore, and still, as their daughter-in-law, I was crushed by the stresses and the pressures.

My father-in-law had affairs in his past, it’d damaged the family. Even though, my in-laws weren’t divorced, but, they’d been sleeping in the same bed, dreaming of different dreams; and, because of his past mistakes, no matter how far my mother-in-law had gone, my father-in-law would always put up with her ways. And because the place we live in, my in-laws had paid for, they’d dropped in at anytime they wanted to, and I did NOT have any privacy at all. During the “honeymoon phase” of my marriage, I’d worked real hard, to make my in-laws like me, but, NO matter how I’d done, I’d gotten bad raps, I could NOT gain their approvals OR respect./

When my mother talked, she’d barked out orders, like, “What’s WRONG with you? How come there are hairs on the floor?”, “Why don’t you do this and that?”, to order people around, and my husband either DODGED dealing with HIS own mother, or that he’d given ALL the responsibilities to me.

Once, when my husband was taking a shower, my mother-in-law told my son to open the door, “Go watch your father in his shower”, and, just like so, my almost forty husband was all exposed. And, when I’d used a calm and collected tone to tell my mother-in-law, “Mom, you seemed to have forgotten to knock!”, she’d barked back, “that’s MY son!”

After I’d given birth to my son, my in-law became closer to each other. But, whenever my son got a cold, or a scratch on him, my days would get super hard.

Awhile ago, when I was recuperating for the month AFTER my birth, I had a fever and didn’t get enough rest, my health was ailing, and I’d heard my in-laws complained about me, and my mother-in-law had even gone to the Chinese traditional doctors to blame HIM for not giving me the right kinds of treatments, and blamed me too.

For me, getting along with my mother-in-law, is the ongoing process of being offended, and forgiving her, over, over, and over again!

And this, would be exactly W-H-Y, NONE of us married women want our in-laws to live with us, and, this IS, a delicate matter too, after all, your sons had married US (woe is us!!!), and mommies, you should let go, and, the husband being the youngest AND the only male child might have also contributed to this too.

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Filed under Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Marriages, Messed Up Values, Observations, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

When Cupid’s Arrows Hit

A tale of marriage, translated…

On a certain year, my roommate told me, with this persistence, “Before the year’s up, I shall find myself a man and marry!”

I’d treated her claims as a joke, didn’t pay it much mind. In the following days, my roommate started actively engaging herself into matchmaking activities, and she’d met someone, but, because her older sister was against him, she’d ended it with him, and later on, at a dinner party, she’d met someone whom she was truly in love with.

At the start of their relationship, in order to avoid the awkwardness, my roommate had asked a wingman, me, along, I’d agreed! On the day we’d met, “truthful and honest”, was the first impression I got of him. My roommate asked me in private what I’d thought about the two guys, “Someone you can consider”, I’d told her. Later, she’d asked me to go out again, but I felt unfitting as the wingman, and so, I’d turned her down.

My roommate who’d gotten all dolled up, radiated of beauty because she was in love, I’d thought, that the woman got dolled up, for something as miniscule as this. Date after date, they’d become steady, and, around the New Years, she DID, manage, to marry herself.

Another colleague had been single for multiple years, and once had the eyes for a male coworker, but, it was one-sided. Later, she’d changed tracks, and, her love life started blooming! Because of her running sales calls, she’d gotten so very involved with her clients, and it’d enlarged her social circles.

A friend proclaimed his love for her, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”, my colleague didn’t answer. A few days later, this friend called her up again, “Can you PLEASE be my girlfriend?”, my colleague told him, that she only wanted to be friends.

“And, was his friend also interested in you”, I’d inquired.

My colleague said, “I think so.”

A few months later, my colleague was going steady, I asked her curiously, “Which one was it?”

“The one I’m into.”, she’d replied.

Turned out, that the friend of the friend she was set up on a date with was also interested in her, and after they’d gone out a couple of times, they really connected. But, because later on, we’d lost contact, but, I’d gotten to know, that my colleague had married him. A few years later, the two of us met up once more, she’d invited me to her house. She’d NOT only found a good man, she’d also had a daughter, and is currently pregnant with her second child.

And, all I can say, is that when Cupid’s arrows HIT, you can’t DODGE it!

And that, is how THAT relationship works out, and the woman although, eager to get married, was also allowing herself the time to get to know the men she was dating, and, in the end, she was able to find the one who was a good match with her, that just still shows, that you CANNOT rush things.

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March 29, 2014 · 4:11 am