Your Children’s Marriages are NOT Up to You to Decide

BUTT OUT, parents, and LET your kids live THEIR lives, if you KNOW what’s best for them, but apparently, you still got NO clue here, translated…

After my eldest daughter passed her thirtieth birthday, I’d become somewhat nervous, I’d often grilled her about whether or not she’s seeing someone constantly.

Once, she’d accidentally disclosed, that so long as she’d nodded, then, Wang will marry her.  Wang is a man who has a TON of good qualities, and so, I’d often nagged her, telling her to make the decision right away.  She’d gotten a little BIT annoyed, and would joke with me, “It’s MY choice, who I marry, if you like him so much, then, why don’t YOU marry him?”, and, her words, had shocked me, made me not knowing, how to reply.

Afterwards, my eldest “sold out” to a foreign land, even though I’m totally against an “international affair”, but all I could do, was to accept.  My good friend, Mei, consoled me, that the world is now, connected as one, that international marriages are quite common, that there are daughters and sons-in-law of Ukrainian, Indian, Japanese, Malaysian, British, American, origins.  Even though, at first, the parents all had something to say, but, in the end, their “votes” didn’t matter, that the children had already made up their minds, so, it’s best, for us, the elders, to “know when to stop nagging”.

Let me show you with another few more examples then!  My friend, Lee’s social status is very high, his son is a doctor, in order to marry a nurse, who’s not in the same status quo with him, he’d rebelled against his parents’ wishes to the point, that they’d had a revolution in the family, and, the parent-child relationship froze, in the end, the parents finally gave in.  Thankfully, the daughter-in-law overlooked this small “glitch”, and now, the three generations got along very well together.

My friend, Hsiao-Lang’s only son is also a doctor, and, Hsiao-Lang thought that the girl he is to marry wasn’t good enough for him, and spoke against it.  The son kneeled down to beg the parents to allow it, and said, that if they didn’t agree to him taking her as his wife, then, he will spend the rest of his life alone.  After many years of deadlock, the son still didn’t change his mind on who he loved, and, Xiao-Lang can only raise up that white flag, because she feared, that she’d never get to have a grandchild to hold.

My friend, Wan-Jun’s son fell in love with an older woman, and, there’s a huge gap in their age, even though, the Taiwanese proverb as a say of “Marrying an older woman is luck”, but, Wan-Jun held firm to against her son’s marriage.  The son was insistent on marrying her, it’d angered her so much, that the parents didn’t even attend their wedding, and now, their grandson is already two years old, and the daughter-in-law rarely comes to visit the mother-in-law, and it’d been very difficult, for her, to see her own grandchild; and whenever Wan-Jun went to her son’s place, her daughter-in-law would have a sour face, and she’d regretted her choice from the very beginning now.

As parents, we’d often used the rules of three “highs” to select a mate for our own daughters, without realizing, that hey, the younger generations no longer took the three “highs” to be important in their considerations of “mate selections”, and believed, “so long as I’m in love, then, why not?”  And, what’s happened even MORE often, is that the selected mates for the sons and daughters by the parents, within a few short years of marriage, they’d split, so, just leave it up to the kids, to decide, who they marry, to themselves!

And so, because of so many bad examples of how standing against your children’s marriage had turned out (take from the above examples, why don’t ya!!!), you, stupid (b/c that, is what ALL of you are!!!) parents should start to BUTT out, of your kids’ relationships, and, do NOT think, that we, the children, will allow you, our kind-hearted, gentle, loving, blah-blah, blah (that was ALL S-A-R-C-A-S-M-S!!!) parents, to fucking interfere with OUR lives, because we are ALL independent, at least, in the realms of choosing W-H-O we will marry, after all, it is, OUR lives, so BUTT out!!!

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Filed under Abuse of Power, Bullying, Decision-Making, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Interactions Shared with the World, Invasion of Privacy, Messed Up Values, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, On Being Single, Overbearing Parents, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Social Issues, The Observer Effect, Translated Work, Trends, Values, Wake Up Calls

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