After We’re Old & Gray

Plans for old age, had you made them yet???  Translated…

I had a multitude of ailments originally, in these couple of years, my husband, who was strong as an ox, had gone in and out of the hospitals too, even though, each and every time, it’s been one false alarm after the next, but, I couldn’t help but worry, could it be, that the autumns of our lives are slowly approaching already?  We’d both bore witness to our parents, getting older, so, we’d had plenty of time to prepare ourselves for getting old too.

One day, my daughter came home to visit, asked me, “If in the end, either you or dad is left alone, then, move in with us!”

I was so moved toward her kindness and filial piety, but, to NOT be a burden to her, along with taking into consideration how my sons-in-law might feel, I’d told her of our plans early.

“We’d all saved up on enough money to keep us, in the end, if one of us becomes immobilized, we’d find someone to help us with the chores first.  One of us would leave first, the one who lived longer, if still lucid, will find someone to help take care of her/his daily living, and as a company, living in one’s own home is more convenient.”
“What if the hired help becomes abusive to you?”, no wonder my daughter had her worries, as those stories would get plastered across the front pages.

“After all, you have your own family to take care of, if you can make it home from time to time, to remind the hired assistant to treat us well, we’d be thankful.  As for the assistant, I believe, that if we treat her kindly, then, she would return the kindness too.  If we’d become demented or gone into a coma, then, please, DO send us into a nursing home, choose the facilities carefully, leaving our care up to the professionals, don’t tire yourselves out.”

It’s easy, caring for the young, they’re cute and pretty, grows up little by little each and every day, people would see hope through them, and their moods are lifted; it is exactly the opposite for taking care of demented elderly, they’d looked down, have weird language and behaviors, sometimes, they can’t even control themselves, adding to the troubles of the family members, even straining their loved ones, there wouldn’t be a point.  If you, the children could come to visit us often, that, would be the best kind of kindness toward us, we don’t ask for much.

After my daughter heard, she’d remained silent, I believe, that she must be battling on the inside.  Even though, that day hadn’t arrived yet, it is best, to make the plans early, I believe, that she would make a wise decision for us one day in the future.

This, would be a SERIOUS subject matter, after all, who would want to stick her/his parents into a nursing home?  And, this mother had planned everything out, so, her daughter won’t have to worry at all, that, would be her kindness toward her child.

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Filed under Family Matters, Life, Old Age

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