If You’re Afraid of Being in the Shadows, Why Not Turn Your Faces Toward the Sun?

The wisdom of life, translated…

I’d gone with Xiang who’s troubled to a lecture, the Yi-Ching instructor used Chinese and Taiwanese, to make the wisdoms of the ancestors simpler for us to understand, hoping that we can use it well in our daily lives, to help us resolve the issues we face.

The instructor told an example, a friend came to him with a worried face, said that his forty-five year old eldest brother passed away very abruptly, asked him to look after his two high-school aged sons, but he is not yet married, he feared, that the two kids may become what kept him single for a very long time, and so, he’d started worrying.  The instructor thought that he was very lucky instead, lucky to have the kids to accompany him, that he didn’t have to deal with them as babies; that he could enjoy family life, but without the restraints of marriage.  On top of that, the children are already in high school right now, in a couple of years, they’d be independent and can take care of his elderly years too, it’s so wonderful!  That he shouldn’t just see the troubles at hand, that he needed to think about the good side too.  And, my friend, hearing the lecturer, all of a sudden, he’d let it go and became happy.

Worries will drain the energies of life, and worries, along with depression, and pressures, these would all increase the chance of one having cardiovascular disorders, plus over eighty percent of what you worry about won’t even happen, so, why worry?  The lecturer said, if you’re afraid of the shadows, then, why not turn your face toward the sun, those shadows will disappear, all on their own.

Xiang and I chewed over the lecturer’s words, recently, she’d worried constantly about her children, her son couldn’t find good work, so he’d stayed at home, and she couldn’t help but nagged him a bit, the son left, and didn’t call her at all, she’d worried that he might starve.  As for her daughter, she’s around marriage age, but, she’s staying single, she didn’t dare push her, fearing that her daughter might run off, just as her son had done.  But, there’s this unidentified worries inside of her, constantly, burning on the inside, and so, she couldn’t live happily.

Children will have their own fortunes, no news means good news.  I’d told her EVERY single kind of consolation I can possibly think of, but Xiang is still troubled, I couldn’t anticipate, that her, coming to the lecture, would be so opened up.  She’d told me, “It’s fine, I won’t worry now!  After all, over eighty percent of the worries don’t ever happen, I guess I’ll take the I-Ching instructor’s words then!”

The instructor also said, that since a woman becomes a mother, she would give her daughter commends, but forget to reward herself, so, Xiang and I decided to treat ourselves well, to take ourselves OUT to a restaurant, then, we will go and pick out that brand new outfit that we’d had the eyes on for so very long, but wasn’t willing to spend the money on from before.

And so, it still all starts with just Y-O-U, you must treat yourselves well, otherwise, NOBODY else would, and, it is natural, for parents to worry about their offspring, but, you have to know, that everybody has her/his own life path to follow, and, whatever happens, is going to happen, so, STOP worrying already!!!

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Filed under Expectations, Family Matters, Old Age, Perspectives

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