No Use Asking “Why” in a Short-Lived Marriage

A Q&A, translated…

Q: When Ms. C was thirty-five years old, she met a man who was also thirty-five through matchmaking, they’d dated for less than a year, got married.  When they got engaged, she’d noted how stingy the man was, wouldn’t even pay for a $25N.T. drink; after the marriage, they’d moved in to his younger brother’s place, with the mortgage still not yet paid up.  The dowry from the husband, the sum of $320,000N.T., she’d used it to buy the furniture, the appliances, but after they wed, the man told her, that “Dowry should be put into savings, and the household appliances, the furniture should be what the bride should come with”.

They went to Italy for their honeymoon, the husband said he would pay for the trip, but, he kept stalling on paying, the woman exchanged $25,000N.T. for Euros to shop (the man only wanted to take pictures).  The moment they got back to Taiwan, when they stepped off the plane, the man said he wanted a divorce.

Since then, the arguments continued, the woman paid for their meals, their daily living materials; the man paid for the gas, the mortgage.  The man is emotionally unstable, would often give her the silent treatment, and when he’d opened up his mouth, it was to scream to her about the little things, he had even waken her up in the middle of the nights, just to yell at her.

When the couple argued, the woman return to her mother’s household just three times, and by the second, the in-laws told her husband to change the locks on the door, that they wouldn’t want their daughter-in-law to come and go as she pleases; the third time, he’d changed the lock of the second door, and got to the point that the man had found an attorney to help him divorce.

The man asked the woman to give back the money he’d given her as gift for the marriage, otherwise, to leave ALL the furniture behind, or that he’ll call the police.  The woman returned ALL the gold jewelry back to him, but the man had refused to give back the wedding band of a little over $10,000N.T., insisted that that wedding band didn’t exist.  When they went to the local offices to file for divorce, the man told his mother, “I’m finally free!”

This short-lived marriage had hurt Ms. C, she is without dignity, what did she do?  To get this badly treated by the man’s family?  How can she NOT feel bad?

A My Opinion

Because you didn’t get a clear look, the values were totally different, plus the parents got into the wars of the couple (the woman went home to cry to her parents, the father of the woman called up the son-in-law and scolded him), causing the marriage to break up early.

And now, the divorce is finalized, the man was so glad that he’d gotten out!  And the woman is still desperately searching for what went wrong?  Isn’t it just how the man was without values AND morals, and NOT in synch with her?  Two people can’t manage a marriage, plus, they’d brought in the in-laws too.

All I can say, that the man underestimated the woman’s economics and how easily “conquered” she is; and the woman hadn’t a single CLUE of what’s going on with the man.  This, would be a good kind of clean break!  Without too much emotional investments, without children, start over again.  After you’re a little more experienced, find the right man, isn’t it better that way?  Look forward!

But the thing about this is that the woman felt CHEATED, after all, she DID shoulder UP the responsibilities of providing for her newly formed family of two, and she’d also had to put UP with his emotional ups and downs, and, that, would be what holding AN expectation (of any sort), can SCREW a marriage over!!!

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